Love and War
by Half of Halves
Summary: The Rebellion is over. Katniss and Peeta just got married, but they have a new war to fight. One that will change their lives forever.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm considering making this into a story depending on if anyone is interested in it. It could end up being a one-shot if no one likes it. Please review so I know what to do with this because I have so many ideas for it. (also, if anyone has any ideas, feel free to PM me anytime) **

_My name is Katniss Mellark. I am 21 years old. I live in District 12. I got married to Peeta Mellark a few hours ago._

I'm still in shock that I am married to someone as amazing as Peeta. When I was a teenager, I swore I'd never get married or have children because I didn't want them to grow up in this horrible world. Even though Panem is much different than it used to be, I still don't want children. The thing is, Peeta has his heart set out on having kids. I had sarcastically joked about Peeta's desire for children a few weeks before the wedding. Little did I know how much my joke would later cost me.

"_Katniss, I have to ask you a question. Before you answer, please think it through first, okay?"_

"_Okay." I already knew what he was going to ask and I didn't want to talk about it. I stood there with my arms crossed and a scowl on my face._

"_You can't ignore me every time this subject comes up, Katniss. We're getting married in a month and I-"_

"_Peeta, seriously. As much as you bring it up, you'd think it would be your dying wish to have kids. You know I don't ever want children. You have known that since we were teenagers."_

_I never will forget the hurt look on Peeta's face as he gave up on his argument. I didn't expect him to do that so soon. _

_He put his hands around my torso and held me close._

"_I'm sorry, but Katniss please look me in the eyes."_

_When I refuse to do so, he gently puts two fingers under my chin and lifts it up for me._

"_Katniss, it is my dying wish."_

_I stood there looking like an idiot, my mouth open wide like the letter "O."_

_I wanted an explanation, why did he say that having children was his dying wish?_

_Peeta is perfectly healthy. Sure, he has a prosthetic leg, but he's strong. What does he mean?_

_Before I could speak, Haymitch rudely barged into the room._

"_I got a phone call earlier from someone you two used to know. She sounded ecstatic about the "star-crossed lovers wedding and wanted to help."_

"_Who?" Peeta asked for me._

"_Effie." Haymitch grinned like he had done us a great favor._

I thought that Peeta and I would get a chance to talk about it again, but we never did. Neither of us wanted a big wedding, but Effie, being from the Capitol, insisted on a extravagant event. So, we were kept very busy. When Peeta wasn't working at the bakery, he was off preparing for the wedding ceremony. We barely saw each other that month and by the time he came home every night, I was already asleep.

Now, we're in the Capitol for a honeymoon. No one in District 12 ever has honeymoons, but Effie said that everyone in the Capitol does. I'm not from the Capitol and frankly I wanted to yell at Effie because the last place I wanted to have a honeymoon or anything was in the Capitol. I have too many bad memories associated with that place and I hate being here.

Peeta walked into our room, saw the look on my face, and frowned sympathetically.

"I know neither of us wanted our wedding to be a big event or to be here in the Capitol, but at least we're together."

"Peeta, I haven't gotten to talk to you in a month and now we have all the time in the world together, but you disappeared after the wedding. What's going on?"

Peeta walks to the window, contemplating the right words to say.

"Katniss, I love you, but I haven't been completely honest with you," he admits looking me directly in the eyes. "I went to the doctor six weeks ago for a check up and they told me something was wrong." I stood up and walked over to him, knowing that something was very wrong indeed. "I refused to believe them so I kept going back and they kept running tests. I met with a different doctor today and he told me the same thing that the others had said."

I must look very worried because Peeta squeezes both my hands.

"There is a disease that a cure has never been found for. It's been around before Panem existed. In North America, they called it leukemia."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews. :) I definitely plan on continuing this and I hope you guys will like it. I have been thinking a lot about what kind of fanfiction I could write that would be unique and I hope this is it. I won't tell you if Peeta will die or not, I don't want to spoil it.** **Enjoy the second chapter and please review!**

I don't think that Peeta's big news has settled in completely yet. After he told me, we ended up enjoying one of the benefits of being married and I hadn't thought about it again until now. I'm exhausted, but it's such a beautiful day outside and I'm supposed to be on my honeymoon. I look over at Peeta with his tousled golden blonde hair and I can't help but smile. That smile quickly fades as soon as the thoughts pound in my head that he might die within the next five years. I can't bear that thought. I lost my father, Prim, Rue, and others deaths in which I was indirectly responsible for. Peeta is the only person that was with me through the Hunger Games and Rebellion that is still with me now. Everyone else has moved on with their lives, except Haymitch, but he's a different story. I can't lose Peeta, not now, I love him and we just got married.

"Katniss?" I hadn't realized that Peeta was awake and his voice startled me for a second.

"Good morning, love. Did you sleep good?"

"I slept like a baby." The corners of his mouth go up a little as if to smile, but then he realizes what he just said. As if nothing happened, he kisses my nose and sits up. "You didn't have any nightmares last night. I think that was the best sleep both of us have ever got"

"I guess so. Are you hungry? I'm starving and Effie said that we have to enjoy our honeymoon. She planned everything out for us."

"As long as I'm with you, I'll enjoy our honeymoon, Katniss. Maybe we can hop on a train to District 12 and go home. We can call Effie and tell her that we-"

"We have a big, big, big day today! I hope you two can be ready in a half hour," as if on cue Effie had barged into our room. Do we have _any _privacy?

Peeta notices my discomfort and apologizes to Effie,

"Effie, Katniss and I are very grateful for your help with the wedding and the honeymoon, but something came up back home and we have to return to District 12."

Effie looks genuinely disappointed and I feel sorry for ruining the plans she had made for us.

"Oh. It's fine, Peeta. The mayor of District 11 called me last night saying that his daughter will be getting married and wanted me to be the wedding planner. Ever since the Games ended, I needed something to occupy my time and I definitely love my job. I'll just have to make a few dozen phone calls to cancel, but it's fine."

"Are you sure Effie? We didn't mean to inconvenience you," Peeta says, although I know he wants to go back home as much as I do. Effie reassures us again that it's okay, wishes us a happy life together, and walks out the door as quickly as she came in. I go to the phone and buy tickets for the next train to District 12. We have a few hours and since all our belongings were never unpacked, we ordered breakfast then went on our way.

**2 weeks later**

I love being back home again. It's still in the process of being rebuilt, but a lot of people have moved back. I'm glad that Peeta is here with me and that neither of us have to be alone, but ever since the news of his illness, I can't help but feel that leukemia is a very lonely disease. You can have people all around you bringing cards and flowers, but it has to do with you, not them. Peeta's at work in the bakery again and I have gone back to hunting early every Sunday morning. I put on my boots, a light jacket, grab my sheath full of arrows and my bow, and head out. The fence is still there to keep animals out, but it's still never on. I enjoy being out in the fresh air again and I catch two rabbits. I can't help but think of the days Gale and I had spent as hunting partners. I haven't heard from him since the Rebellion ended- four years ago. I miss my old best friend, but I'm not sure how I'd feel about him now. After Prim's death, I couldn't separate the thought of her dying and Gale's bombs. I stop at Haymitch's to drop off one of the rabbits and notice he isn't home.

"That's odd, Haymitch is almost always home," I whisper under my breath. I shrug it off but can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. I'm about to open my front door when I notice a note- Haymitch's handwriting.

_Just so you know, sweetheart, Peeta had a doctors appointment today and needed someone to go with him. He'll be there for three hours (it's 8AM now) and he wants you to stop by the hospital when you can._

_Haymitch_

The hospital? Oh, I forgot that a new state of the art hospital was built in Disctrict 12 two years ago. I never had a reason to go to the hospital since it opened and I don't really like hospitals or doctors in general. I can't help the feeling I have now: hopelessness. I run inside to put the rabbits in the refrigerator and quickly sprint to the hospital. As soon as I enter the lobby, I see Peeta and Haymitch talking to a man in a long, white coat and my fingers curl up into a fist. I'm not mad at the doctor, I'm frustrated that Peeta is sick and I can't make him better. The doctor looks at me and I manage a smile.

"Is this your wife?" he asks.

"Yes, Mrs. Katniss Mellark," Peeta winks at me and smiles. I walk up to him and give him a quick kiss, then I put my arm around his back protectively.

"Well, Mrs. Mellark, it's a pleasure to meet you. Why don't you all come to my office where we can discuss Peeta's condition privately?"

"You two love birds go ahead. I brought Peeta here and I know he'll be fine with sweetheart over there." Are they supposed to let drunks in the hospital? As if he read my mind, Peeta manages a small chuckle and thanks Haymitch. We walk down a long corridor in complete silence. I know what the doctor wants to talk about and I want to hide in the closest linen closet.

We finally arrive at the doctor's office and he tells us to take a seat.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Mellark, but I forgot to introduce myself. I am Dr. Neal Oswald." He puts his hand out for me to shake it and I reluctantly shake his hand. I don't want to be friendly with a man who is going to tell me in a few minutes about Peeta's illness.

He goes on for about an hour explaining what leukemia is and what symptoms Peeta might experience. My mind instantly thinks back to four months ago when Peeta had begun getting high fevers and chills more than usual; it happened at least once a month, but lately had been occurring more frequently. The doctor gives us his number and asks if I have any questions. I want to cry, but I force myself to remain emotionless until I get home. He tries to encourage us and tells us that him and his team will do his best to get Peeta better again. I feel like we're in the arena again, fighting against something we have no control over. As we walk home, I notice that Peeta has lost some weight and I bit my lip in worry. I know I have to be strong for him, but I want to know how he feels about everything.

"Peeta, how are coping with all of this?" I ask.

"It's not easy, Katniss, but I have hope. Dr. Oswald is the best doctor in all of Panem, he used to work in the Capitol, and I'm sure he will help me to get better in no time." He smiles at me and lets go of my hand. "Turn around."

"Okay," I say, curious as to what he's doing.

I see him standing in front of me with a bright yellow dandelion in his hand and he puts it in my hair.

"Everything is going to be okay, we'll make it through this, Katniss. I love you."

"I love you too," I smile, but in my heart I am scared to death.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the reviews :) I really appreciate all of you for reading my story, even if you don't review. I'm debating on whether or not to get a betareader, so that might postpone the fourth chapter for a bit. I'll give you guys a warning though, this chapter is rated EF for extreme fluff. :)**

I wake up and notice that Peeta isn't next to me. I'm worried until I hear the sink on in the kitchen and realize that he's washing dishes. I lay in bed for a few minutes and try to let all my emotions out. Ever since we met with the doctor last week, I haven't cried. I told myself that I wouldn't cry in front of Peeta because I need to be strong for him. I guess he has taught me a thing or two about what love really means. I just hope I don't become a big softie anytime soon, that's too much change for me.

After getting ready, I walk downstairs to find Peeta cooking breakfast. It smells amazing and it's making me more hungry than I already am.

"Good morning," I say as I sneak up from behind and put my arms around him.

"Good morning, my Katniss," Peeta turns around and gives me a lengthy kiss on my lips. "I have a doctors appointment today, my second chemotherapy treatment. I had my first treatment a couple of weeks ago, but I hadn't wanted to break the news to you then."

_Chemotherapy. _I make a mental note to research what exactly that is. Whatever it is, it doesn't settle well with me. "Dr. Oswald told me that it's a lot more advanced and efficient than it was in North America. I won't lose any of my hair and my immune system won't be weakened too much."

I know he's trying to make it seem that it's really not that bad because he gazes out the window as if he'll never see daylight again.

"Peeta, the pancakes are burning." I immediately turn the stove off and walk over to the sofa in the sun room. I don't want Peeta to see me concerned, but he notices anyway.

"Katniss, you don't have to pretend with me anymore. This isn't the Games, you can show how you really feel. I don't want you to ever be ashamed or afraid to reveal your emotions. You can put up a mask for the rest of the world, but it will never work on me."

"I'm sorry, Peeta. I really am concerned for you because I love you so much." I never was good with words and my apology isn't wholeheartedly sincere. I still make an effort to keep my face emotionless despite the tremendous pain that presses against my chest. Even so, Peeta accepts the apology and takes my hand in his.

"I have something I want to show you, I've been working on it for a while and I think you'll like it a lot." I follow him upstairs to an extra room that he uses for his artwork. One thing that has helped him to keep his mind off the sickness is painting.

"Close your eyes and turn around." I didn't close my eyes all the way, when he says "No peaking, love."

"Okay." I wonder if I ever told Peeta how much I dislike surprises.

"Open your eyes." When I do, I am flabbergasted.

"Peeta, it's beautiful."

"Thank you. I painted it the day after we talked with Dr. Oswald. I wanted to capture your beauty perfectly and I think I did."

I'm still staring at the magnificent painting in awe. It's not me that I think looks amazing, it's Peeta and the dandelion. He captured a moment in time that I never will forget: the time we were walking home from the hospital and Peeta put the dandelion in my hair. I am so close to crying right now because seeing this provokes so many different emotions. I know exactly why he created this, he wanted to paint hope.

"Do you like it?" he asks, interrupting my thoughts.

"I love it. It's amazing. The best thing you've ever painted" This time it's my turn to lean in and give him a lengthy kiss, but after two minutes, he breaks away.

"I'm sorry, love" he says as he cups my face in his hands, "but I have to get going. I don't want to be late for my appointment. I'm going to be at the bakery afterward until four."

"Is it okay for you to go to work after chemotherapy?"

"I'll be fine Katniss. I'll see you later." He kisses me on more time, then whispers "I love you so much" in my ear.

"I love you too," I say with a smile.

Once Peeta leaves, I take a closer look at his creation and a single tear falls from my right eye. Nothing else. I wish I could cry right now because I feel heartless. If I can't cry for Peeta, then I must not really care about him. I walk back to our bedroom and take a nap, hoping to wake up in a world where Peeta is healthy again.

After eating lunch, I decide to go the library in the Square since Peeta is at work. I figured that since Peeta has leukemia, I might as well know what to expect and make sure the doctor didn't leave any important information out. The only thing is I don't want Peeta to know I'm going there, but I have to pass the bakery in order to get to the library, so I decide to visit Peeta at work. He sees me from the front window and greets me at the door with a quick kiss.

"Hello, beautiful," I blush at the sound of him calling me beautiful. "I'm glad you're out the house, it's good for you to be outside in the fresh air."

"I'd rather be hunting than shopping."

"Good point. Anyway, would you like to hang around for a while? I own the bakery, you know, so I'm the boss and can give myself a break," Peeta grins as if it's the best thing in the world.

"Actually, I was just going to the butcher to pick up some meats for Haymitch. I'll come back here when I'm done."

"You're not very good at lying, but I trust you." Once again, Peeta Mellark sees right through me. I smile and turn on my heels to walk out the door,

"I'll be back, I promise."

I check out five books about leukemia and chemotherapy from the library. As the librarian checks them out, I glance at the clock and notice I left Peeta an hour ago. That wasn't that long ago, I'm sure he's fine. Peeta and I rarely talk about his illness because we don't want it to interfere with our time together. I feel horrible for not asking how he was doing after the chemotherapy, but I'll make sure to ask him when I get to the bakery.

I don't see Peeta from the window. He's probably in the back putting cookies in the oven. The bells that's attached to the door rings as I enter,

"Peeta, I'm back," I say cheerfully. I've been trying my hardest to be happier than usual for him.

He doesn't answer,

"Peeta? I know you're here. Where are you?" My hope is quickly declining. When he doesn't answer again, I go behind the counter and notice that Peeta was indeed putting cookies in the oven. The tray is on the floor, cookies tossed all over.

"Peeta!" I run up to him, his weak and limp body thrown on the ground. I check his pulse and am relieved to find a heartbeat, but he still is unresponsive. "Peeta, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to call Dr. Oswald now. He'll be here soon and we'll get you to the hospital. Everything is going to be okay."

I call Dr. Oswald and he reassures me that he'll be here in five minutes with a paramedic team. Those five minutes feel like an eternity and I spend them sitting next to Peeta, holding his hand tight.

What is wrong with me, I can't even cry? Peeta could die right now and I can't shed a tear. I wish I would have listened to him before when he said he wanted a child. If I lost Peeta, at least I'd have someone who has a part of him.

"Mrs. Mellark?" It's Dr. Oswald.

"Thank you so much for coming."

"What happened?" He does a quick check on Peeta and the paramedics take him away.

"I found him here unconscious.." I feel nothing but depressed.

"He shouldn't have been working. He just had a chemotherapy treatment a few hours ago."

I don't have anything else to say so I just follow them to the hospital. I don't have anything left to think, no other emotions left to feel. I want my Peeta back and I'm not sure if I ever will.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you guys for the wonderful reviews and story alerts. It helps to know that people are actually enjoying the story, it keeps me motivated and inspired. I will promise you all that Gale will show up somewhere towards the middle or end of the story. I won't tell you why though ;) you'll have to keep reading to find that out. This chapter isn't the longest, but I have to move things along. Soon enough, things will get much more interesting and you'll be this much closer to Peeta's death, miraculous recovery, or some other crazy plot twist I come up with.**

**Here's your Chapter 4, enjoy! And don't forget to review :)**

Being home alone is horrible when the person you love the most is unconscious in a hospital room. I can't stand that the doctors won't let me see Peeta, so the scene that keeps repeating in my head is when I last saw him: on the floor of the bakery. I can't shake it out of my mind, even if I try to think of better times, it always comes back to what happened today. I'm mad at myself for leaving Peeta alone; I should have stayed with him. He could have passed out five minutes after I left, for all I know. I want him to be himself again, strong and radiant. Lately, he's been progressively looking more weak and fragile. He has lost so much weight, it scares me to look at him. I wish I could have as much hope as Peeta because I don't feel anything but desperation. I'm desperate for someone to save Peeta, to one day wake up and hear that his cancer is gone. That would be a miracle. I don't understand how he manages to smile like nothing is wrong. I know that it effects him, maybe it effects me more. I don't know. I guess he wants to enjoy whatever is left of his life by not spending it sulking and depressed. I'm happy he is so optimistic, but I hate that the doctors say he could die within one to five years. After they told me that, I had a very uncomfortable conversation with Peeta that night.

_It was freezing outside and the hospital was cold too. I'm glad to be welcomed by the warmth of my house. I just don't like what the odds are of Peeta's survival. I had picked up refills for his medication before returning home and place them on the counter. As I take my coat off, I argue with myself. Of course it has to do with Peeta. It has to do with-_

"_Katniss, you're back late. You should have told me you were leaving, I would have went with you," Peeta surprises me._

_ "Peeta you are really sick, I wouldn't have let you come with me. Not with a 103 degree fever. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something"_

_I think Peeta knows that it might take a while, so he goes over to the counter and takes his medication._

_Then he sits next to me on the sofa and suddenly I'm very nervous._

"_Peeta I-" I didn't think before I opened my mouth, so I take a moment to figure out what exactly I want to say. "I'm really sorry for all the times I hurt you. Do you forgive me?"_

_ "Katniss, I forgave you a long time ago." He smiles so innocently that I feel ashamed of myself._

_ At this point, I settle for my actions speaking louder than words because I'm horrible at the latter. So, I lean in to Peeta and kiss him passionately. We're about to enjoy yet again one great part about being married, when I realize I have to tell him one thing before things go further. I slowly pull away and move my hair out of my face._

_ "I want to have at least one child with you Peeta." Honestly, I said that more for Peeta than myself and judging by the gigantic smile on his face, I'm pretty sure he's ecstatic. _

_ "Are you sure, Katniss?" his ice blue eyes are wide open in pure delight. Peeta loves children and always wanted some of his own, but I never did. We spent so many nights arguing about it and I finally caved in today. Maybe it's because I know that it really is Peeta's dying wish to have children or maybe I'm just being selfish. Whatever it is, I don't think about it much as Peeta and I enjoy each other again tonight._

That all happened a few weeks ago and I went to the doctor a few days ago to see if I was pregnant. For once, I really wished I was because Peeta would be so excited. Besides, with all that's going on, it would be nice to have some good news, something to look forward to. So, when the test results came back negative, I didn't have the heart to tell Peeta. Then, with what happened today, I still haven't got the chance to tell him. I keep thinking about when I should tell Peeta that I didn't get pregnant when the phone rings, which is strange because we rarely get phone calls.

"Hello?" I ask, wondering who the heck is calling.

"Katniss?" I recognize the voice immediately as my mother's and I'm actually glad that she called. I need someone to talk to since Peeta is in the hospital over night.

"Hi, mom. How are you?"

"I'm good, I just got promoted to head nurse at the clinic. How are you, darling?" I'm shocked that my mother is using a term of endearment because she never has done that before.

"I could be better..Peeta was diagnosed with leukemia not too long ago."

"Katniss, why didn't you call me sooner? It doesn't matter now. I'm going to District 12 and you can't disagree with me. You need the company, honey." Great, more terms of endearment. "I'll be there by tomorrow afternoon." She hangs up as soon as she says the last word just to make sure I won't argue. So, now I have to deal with Peeta coming home tomorrow from the hospital and my mother visiting for who knows how long. This is going to be interesting and I dread it already.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, my lovely fans. :) I'm excited for the upcoming events in the story and how it will turn out. If you haven't checked out my profile yet, now would be a good time to because I have a little summary of this story there. I think that it will help you to understand where I'm going with the story and anything that I write in general. Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated, so don't be afraid to leave one. (I don't bite) If you haven't seen this awesome fan made trailer for Catching Fire, then watch it now. **.com/watch?v=NUmtu5PHIDA&feature=player_embedded#at=83 . **Then this one is for Mockingjay ****.com/watch?v=qVaeXGBwB6Y**** My jaw dropped when I saw them. I hope the movies come out perfectly awesome. (I'm having a hard time with those links, so just put youtube(dot)com in front of the rest of the url)**

***drum roll...Chapter 5**

Ever since my father died, my relationship with my mother has been very distant. Personally, I would like to keep it that way. Actually, the last time I saw my mother was at my wedding- the first time I had seen her since Prim's death. She arrived an hour ago and is upstairs unpacking. She hasn't mentioned how long she is staying, which I hope isn't too long. I tap my fingers nervously on the kitchen counter wondering what Peeta will think about my mother being here. It's Peeta, the people person, he won't mind at all, unlike me. I hear footsteps coming from the staircase and grab my coat.

"Katniss, honey, are you ready?" my mother asks as she walks closer to me. When is she leaving?

"Yes. Did you finish unpacking?" she nods and I continue, "Good. I hope you enjoy being here. How long do you plan on staying?" I am purposely trying to sound rude.

"A while." Great.

"Well, if you'll be here more than a week, I'm sure Peeta will let you stay in his old house next door." Ever since we had gotten back from District 13, Peeta never went back to his house in the Victor's Village, so it works out perfectly.

"You can ask him today, then. A man named Dr. Oswald called while you were in the shower to inform you that Peeta has been discharged. They're just waiting for you to pick him up." My mother scans my face intently, looking genuinely concerned. Maybe I'm being too rigid and stubborn to her. She is my mother.

"Then, let's go get him," I say with a very believable fake smile, "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

On our way to the hospital, we don't talk much because my mother is taking in the new District 12. I can tell she is thinking about her childhood, my father, Prim, and how much things have changed. I honestly feel sorry for her, but I won't admit it.

Of course Peeta is thrilled to see me and our guest when we arrive at the hospital. I can't really run up to hug him because he is in a wheelchair, so I awkwardly hug his neck and plant a gentle kiss his forehead.

"Katniss. I missed you so much," Peeta whispers as he looks me in the eyes. I want to break down and cry because he looks horrible. He has dark circles and bags under his beautiful blue eyes. His body is so limp and helpless. I don't mind his messy blonde hair though, I think it makes him look more attractive.

"I missed you too. I shouldn't have left you alone. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I forgive you." I never understand how he can always be so forgiving.

I stand back up straight and Peeta has a little conversation with my mother. She tells him that they'll talk more about it later. I don't have to ask what they are going to talk about; my mother is a healer and has worked with cancer patients. Peeta probably just needs someone he can trust and who knows about his illness more than he does. Maybe I won't mind my mother being around that much, as long as it helps Peeta.

"Are you going to have to bring that wheelchair home?" I ask, hoping he says no.

"Dr. Oswald instructed me not to walk around too much. He said I can walk around the house, but if I go out, I need to use the chair." I frown, but Peeta looks like he enjoys being on a wheelchair. There he goes again, making the best out of a horrible predicament. I push him along until we get to our house and my mother helps him into our bedroom. When she's done, she finds me in the foyer staring out the window.

"Katniss, I know this must be very hard for you, seeing Peeta sick like this," she says as puts her hand on my shoulder reassuringly, "but he has a strong heart and is very optimistic. I truly admire that about him. Not many people are like that."

I don't want to talk with anyone right now except Peeta, but my mother doesn't show any sign of ending this conversation.

"I don't understand why."

"Why Peeta is sick?"

"No. Why he is so happy in spite of his.." I stumble at those words, not wanting to admit it. I never talk about Peeta's condition with other people, it makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.

"Honey, Peeta will be okay. He is a fighter, you'll both make it through this, but you need to let go of the hurt and anger, Katniss. You have always tried so hard to be strong for everyone else, but you ignore what you really feel. If you want to truly be a help to Peeta, then you have to be completely honest with him."

"He told you to talk to me, didn't he?" I ask, knowing that he did. Peeta has heard me complain about my mother and always told me that one day he would find a way to fix it. That's why he didn't ask for me to help him upstairs, he wanted my mother to so he could convince her to talk to me.

"He did. I didn't see why not."

I find it quite odd how she is acting so motherly after all these years. I let it go because I have too many thoughts running through my head already. I haven't forgiven her completely, I just don't plan on shutting her out of my life anymore. "What do you think about a job in the hospital?" I don't like it. That would have been Prim's dream, it's not mine.

"Umm." I'm actually trying to be nice by not saying something sarcastic.

"He won't admit it," she whispers and points towards the stairs, "but he is in no condition to go back to work. I transferred to District 12 from the Capitol-"

"But mom, didn't you just get promoted in the Capitol hospital?" I interrupt.

"Yes, but being here for you and my son-in-law is more important to me," she smiles.

"Thanks," I reply, my gaze not leaving the window. All I can think about is what has gotten into my mother for her to act so caring and helpful.

"It's a office manager position. I know you wouldn't want to be a nurse or anything like that, so I recommended you for the job. You start tomorrow."

Lately, I haven't been given much freedom in what goes on in my life and I hate that. I'm thankful that my mother got me a job, but I want to do that on my own. I don't like not being in control of what goes on. I don't realize that my mom has walked outside towards the square until Peeta calls me.

"Katniss?" he asks worriedly.

"I'm coming, love" I'm not leaving him alone again.

I see him sitting up and offer to put more pillows behind him. Then I sit next to him on the bed, our fingers intertwined.

"How did it go with mom?" I'm surprised he says "mom," not "your mom." He must really like her.

"It went-" I pause trying to figure out what to say next, "it's improvement."

"That's a start. I'm glad you two talked. You looked hostile towards her when we were at the hospital." I give him a good scowl, but he just kisses my nose.

"Peeta. Are you okay? I shouldn't have left you alone in the bakery. I'm sorry."

"Hey, I already forgave you. It's not your fault. Anyway, I'm fine. Let's not talk about me." He points to my stomach and I gulp.

"Negative. The test results came out negative. No baby." I look down and he lifts my chin. When I look into his eyes, I see a hint of sorrow, but so much love.

"We can always try again. I don't mind." I can't help but think that he is no condition right now to aide in the conception of our child. "I have an idea, tomorrow we can spend the entire day together. We can do whatever you want," Peeta suggests.

"No, we're going to do whatever you want, lover boy," I grin mischievously and he attempts to kiss me passionately, but he's already exerted too much energy. I let him rest his head on my shoulder until he falls sound asleep.

When the phone rings, I get frustrated because it might wake Peeta. I slowly get up off the bed and answer the phone on our dresser.

"Hello?"

"Katniss? How are you and Peeta? I have some good news for you both."

After the initial shock of hearing that familiar voice on the other line, my mind forms her name. President Paylor.

**You have to love those cliffhangers. **

**Anyway, I have a tendency to want to skip over details and get to the point, so I'm gonna do my best to make the next couple of chapters fillers. If there's anything you guys would like to see in the story, let me know and I'll consider it. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank guys for being patient. I hope you won't be disappointed. :)**

**Also, kudos to FourNoteMelody for taking a look at this before I published it and for helping me with the details. :)**

As I hang up the phone, I'm not sure what to feel. President Paylor had called to invite Peeta and I to the Capitol for the anniversary of the rebellion. In four months. A lot can happen in that time, too much for me to think about right now because Peeta looks too peaceful and innocent in his sleep. So, Paylor said that all the living Hunger Games victors, soldiers from the Rebellion, and anyone else who had a part in it will be there. That means Gale will be there too. For some reason, I've been thinking about him a lot lately, but not in a romantic way or anything like that. I just wonder how he's doing these days. The last thing I heard about him was when Greasy Sae explained to me that Gale is the head weapons specialist in District 2 and the CEO of Hawthorne Industries. In other words, he's moved on with his life, is filthy rich, extremely successful, and a ladies man. I'm not sure how much I'll like the new, professional Gale, but I guess I'll find out in a few months.

I don't want to wake Peeta up, but I have to go to work soon. I forgot to inform him about my new job. I probably should tell him anyway, but I won't tell him about President Paylor's phone call yet.

"Peeta," I whisper in his ear as I run my hands through his golden blonde hair. After all those nights in the arena, the last thing I would describe Peeta as is a heavy sleeper. That goes for me also. Both of us wake up at the slightest noise, which is why I'm surprised that he didn't stir when the phone had rung.

"Hmm. What's the matter, Katniss?" Peeta asks sleepily, rubbing his eyes and stretching.

"I forgot to mention that my mother got me a job in the hospital. Office Manager position."

"Really? That's great, love. I'm really happy for you. You were the Mockingjay, so I'm sure they think you can manage an office."

"Yeah..um. Peeta I'm not sure about this, but I'll do my best." Honestly, I don't feel the least bit qualified for this."

"Katniss," Peeta says lovingly, then kisses me lightly on the lips, "you'll do great."

"I just hate that I start today. You just got out of the hospital."

"We have the entire day tomorrow to spend together, remember?" I can tell Peeta is really looking forward to it.

"I can't wait for our date," I honestly admit.

Peeta gives me a smile and says, "Well, you should get going then. I'll be fine Katniss. You're mom will be here and Haymitch is next door. I love you."

"Okay, but I'll call you when I can to check up on you. I should be back before dinner time. See you later, bread boy." Peeta realizes the significance of that nickname. I haven't called him that since he officially asked me out. It had slipped out of my mouth without thinking, but I don't regret it at all.

As I walk out the front door, I notice my mother watering the primroses in the garden and let her know that I'm leaving to work. She works the night shifts at the hospital so that Peeta will always have someone with him 24/7.

"Katniss Mellark. I'm the new office manager in the pediatric ward," I inform the receptionist in the hospital lobby.

"Katniss. How are you holding up dear? I know it must be so difficult with Peeta's condition and all." With all the times I've been in the lobby, I've gotten to know the receptionist. She's a sweet woman in her mid-50's named Betty Lou. Her eyes are a lovely green and her hair is the color of salt and pepper, falling to her shoulders in thin, straight locks. She must be from Disctrict 4. When I first met her, I didn't say much to her, but she has a way of growing on people. Maybe it's her gorgeous smile or the rich history that she has. She is hands down, the friendliest and most down to earth person that I have ever met.

"I'm holding up. I'm just glad that Peeta is back home instead of being stuck in a hospital bed all day."

"That's good, honey. He needs his rest and he needs you. You're his wife, Katniss, you know him very well. No one knows Peeta Mellark like Mrs. Mellark. Mhm."

I manage a small laugh and Betty Lou dials a number on the phone. She pages for Julie Montgomery to come to the front desk. Soon enough, a woman steps out of the elevator and walks up to us.

"Good morning, Betty," she addresses her, then looks at me, "You must be Katniss Mellark, you're mother has told me so much about you. My name is Julie Montgomery. I'm glad to have you on our team." Julie puts her hand out and I shake it.

"Thank you very much," I respond. I can tell right off the bat that Julie is a friendly person, but not the type of person you would be able to lie to. She is definitely from Disctrict 12 because her skin has a olive hue, her eyes are a piercing gray, and her straight black hair reaches down to her waist. She must be only a few years older than me, but is about an inch shorter than me.

She takes me to the elevator and presses the button reading number five. We engage in some small talk, but we seem to be getting along. I'm glad she doesn't hate my guts because she's my boss. I'm only the office manger, Julie is the head of the Pediatric Ward.

"Okay, so I'm going to introduce you to some of the girls that you'll be working with." She says that statement quite loud and it gets everyone's attention in the office. "Hello everyone, I hope you all are having a productive day. This is your new manager, Katniss Mellark. She is your boss, but she reports to me, so always be on your best behavior. Please introduce yourselves by stating your name and position here." I can't believe that I didn't notice it before, but Julie has a soldier like quality to her. Maybe it was her years growing up in the Seam that made her tough, like it did to me, but there's something else that I can't put my finger on.

"Good morning, Mrs. Mellark. I'm Carrie Cullens, financial assistant. Our financial director, Amy Hudge isn't present today, but will be here tomorrow."

Five more women introduce themselves to me and I hope I will be able to remember all of their names. After the introductions, Julie leads me to my own office. On the door, there's a silver plaque with the words "Katniss Mellark. Office Manger" inscribed on it. She leaves me alone and says that she'll check up on me in an hour. After she leaves, I hear her asking someone to show me around because she has a meeting to go to in five minutes. I examine my office and feel like it's so empty. There's a desk with drawers, three filing cabinets, and a computer. The walls are painted a beautiful sky blue and the trimming is a bone color, but it's not my preference. Maybe I can get Peeta to come in one day and redo it. He could use a project like this to get his mind off of things.

Soon enough, a girl walks in, to tell me that she's here to show me around. I find out that her name is Salama Livingston. I immediately recognize her accent as Capitol; nothing else about her hints that. She has blue eyes and blonde hair just like Peeta, except her hair falls halfway down her back and is very curly. She looks so young, maybe 16 or 17 years old and so normal for someone from the Capitol.

"I'm 16 years old, but I turn 17 next month. I'm a paid intern for Amy Hudge and assistant to her assistant, Carrie. I started working here a few months ago." I can tell by the glossy look in her eyes that she is about to cry, so I reassuringly place my hand on her shoulder. "My brother, Jake, was diagnosed with leukemia at the tender age of five years old. Since we lived in the Capitol, he was treated by the best doctors in Panem, then the Rebels overthrew the Capitol and District 12 eventually came to be known for its medicine and hospitals. Our parents were killed in the war, they were a casualty, innocent civilians. My mother was killed by a soldier, they came from the basement and just shot her. After that, my father lost the will to live. I don't blame anyone for their deaths, but myself. I was out with Jake at a friend's house against my parents direct orders to stay in our house. He's still sick, but I have to be strong for him

"Then we have a few things in common," I tell her and she looks up at me curiously. I'm doing my best to remain emotionless because I'm really shocked that I know this girl's mother. I didn't really know her personally but I saw her for a few moments during the War and it's my fault she died.

"My husband, Peeta Mellark was diagnosed with leukemia a few months ago." I figure that since she felt that she could be honest with me, I could at least tell her that. I'm not ready to tell her the rest though.

"Peeta Mellark? That name. Wait, you're Katniss Everdeen, the Mockingjay." I look down, not too proud of the connection between me and the title of "Mockingjay."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Julie warned us not to speak of the Rebellion around you, she wants you to feel comfortable here. That everyone who was involved in the war wants a new start. She was a lieutenant, you know."

"Really? I knew there was something militaristic about her."

"Please don't tell her that I told you. She is the last person I want mad at me."

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

**Here's a quick fact. "Salama" means "peace" in Swahili. **

**Reviews make my day. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the short chapter. The next one won't be long either, but I hope neither of them let you guys down. :)**

My suspicions have been confirmed, Julie was a soldier in the war. A lieutenant.

Salama is about to say something when a nurse walks up to the door pushing a young boy on a wheelchair.

"Sala, I was looking for you. Nurse Joanne has been wheeling me around on this thing for ten mintues." He looks up at the nurse and apologizes.

"You don't have to apologize, Jake," the nurse smiles at him then looks at Salama, "he didn't want to have lunch without his big sister."

"Don't worry, Jakey. We'll head down to the cafeteria in a few minutes. I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Katniss Mellark," Hope then looks at me, "this is my brother, Jake."

"Nice to meet ya, Mrs. Mellark," Jake says with a grin, just like Peeta's grin.

"You can call me Katniss," I respond, returning the smile.

"Would you like to join my sister and I for lunch, Katniss?" Jake asks.

"Thank you for inviting me, Jake."

"Then let's go, Hope walks too slow anyway. I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm starving."

During our lunch, Jake asks me a lot of questions and I have to admit that some make me uncomfortable, but he is such a nice boy and I don't want to upset him. If Peeta were here right now, he would be surprised with how kind I am being to these strangers. Maybe he has rubbed off on me a bit over the years. Somewhere in the conversation, Jake asks about my husband and I explain to him that Peeta has the same illness as him. He frowns and apologizes, saying that he knows how hard it is for someone to go through that. The way he talks about his illness, you wouldn't think that he was the one who had it. He's more like Peeta than I think, so I tell Jake that I'll bring Peeta with me to visit him soon. Jake seems to like the idea and just nods.

Soon enough, a doctor pages Jake and says that he needs to be back in his room for blood tests.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Katniss, but it seems that I must go. I'm glad I got to meet you. I'll see you again soon and tell Peeta I say hi."

I say goodbye and walk back to my office to use the phone. I dial my house phone number, which I had to write down since I don't have it memorized. It rungs two times until someone answers it.

"Hello?" It's Peeta. I smile at the sound of his voice.

"Hi, Peeta. How are you doing?"

"Mom is taking good care of me. She made me lunch and hot chocolate. How's your first day of work?"

"It's good so far. The people hear are genuine and transparent. I might like it hear."

"That's great, I'm glad you like it. I'll have to visit you soon when I'm not working at the bakery."

"Peeta, you know you can't go back to work anytime soon, doctors orders. I left Haymitch there to run the place while you're gone."

"Haymitch?" I have never heard Peeta so worried.

"He was the only person I could get. It was a last minute thing." I can hear Peeta's sigh, but continue talking, "I met this young boy today, Jake Livingston. He has the same condition as you and wants to meet you. He also says 'hi'."

"He sounds cool, we'll talk about it more when you get home. Mom wants to take me to the Square with her."

"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours, then. I love you."

"I love you too, my Katniss. Later."

For once, things seem to be looking up. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and that things are going well in my life, back under my control. I'm starting to feel tired, but I push that feeling aside. At my desk, I start on a list of tasks that Julie left on a clipboard. I'm not sure how good I'll be at this, but I might as well try. Besides, Katniss Mellark is not a quitter.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time I get home from work, I'm so exhausted that I don't notice Peeta in the kitchen. He had made dinner and refused to eat until I got back. He must have noticed that my attention wasn't focused on anything and suggests I go to bed early. I'm glad he doesn't push having a conversation tonight. Honestly, I just want to sleep this all off. Before I know it, I'm on our bed, in Peeta's arms. I silently recall the events of today, unable to close my eyes. Eventually, I dose off to dream of being in the arena again.

_ The 74__th__ Hunger Games. I'm hunting some rabbits for dinner, but when I go to pick up my kill, the scene changes. _

_ Suddenly, I'm in my bedroom again, sitting up on my bed. I can't shake this eerie feeling that something is extremely wrong. I reach over to Peeta, who's fast asleep next to me because I need his comfort. When he doesn't wake up, I panic. _

_ That's when I smell this horrible odor- a mixture of blood and roses. The putrid scent forces my dinner back up onto the hardwood floor. I'm still observing the mess I have made when I notice two shoes in front of me. I can tell they belong to a body, but I keep pushing that thought to the back of my head. To calm my fears, I try to look up, but moving my body has become increasingly difficult. _

_ "Miss Everdeen- the Mockingjay," the voice sends a shiver up my spine and goosebumps appear all over my body, "or would it be more proper to address you as Mrs. Mellark?"_

_I open my mouth in attempt to speak, but no sound will come out. I'm mute like an Avox, but I can still feel my tongue in my mouth. _

"_The tranquilizer will take full affect in a few minutes, just enough time for us to talk."_

_I keep a steady scowl on my face. _

"_Didn't we make an agreement to be honest with each other, Mockingjay?"_

_With whatever strength I do have, I shake Peeta to wake him up._

"_He's drugged with the tranquilizer, Mrs. Mellark. He won't wake up until late tomorrow morning. Now, we have some matters to discuss. Surely, you see that I'm not dead. Did you know that the doctors wrote on the report that I choked on my own blood? What fools. I'm very much alive."_

_I am breathing heavy now and tell myself that it's just a really bad nightmare. President Snow is dead. President Snow is dead. He can't be alive. It's not possible. _

"_In a few months, you will all be celebrating the anniversary of the war, am I right? What a pleasant surprise Panem will get." He smirks and lets out a loud chuckle. _

_At this point, I keep my face emotionless. A dark cloud of heaviness descends on me and is the last thing I see before my eyes close again._

"_That's the tranquilizer. Sleep well, Miss Everdeen." His next words seem so distant that I'm not sure if they're real. "I made sure that he contracted leukemia, you know. The price for you being the Mockingjay, I assumed. I know you must be wondering how it was even possible, but it was. Goodnight, Girl on Fire."_

As soon as I regain consciousness, I bolt upright on my bed. Slowly, the details from the nightmare flood my mind.

"Katniss, are you okay? You must have had a nightmare." Is that Peeta? He looks at the clock, then at me. "It's noon, I can't believe we both overslept."

I can't speak. It's not that I'm not capable of speaking, I'm suffering from an emotional trauma. I get up to to rinse my face with cold water, when I notice the stem on the edge of the bed. Peeta hadn't noticed until he saw me staring at it.

"Katniss, what's wrong? You have to tell me. You're scaring me." Peeta is obviously worried out of his mind.

My gaze remains fixed on the stem, thorns, and petals knit together. It just lays there by itself. A single rose.

My nightmare was a reality.

**If you guys leave reviews, I'll do my very best to update soon. I don't want to leave you waiting for a week. :) I know, the suspense is getting to me too (and I'm the author)**


	9. Chapter 9

**I hope you guys liked that cliffhanger in the last chapter. :) There's more surprises to come..let's just say that the last chapter's shocker isn't nearly as big as the one you'll get at the very end. **

Two months. That's how long it has been since I've spoken. No one knows about my encounter with Snow except Peeta because he knew what the rose meant. I had told Peeta about the connection between roses and President Snow after the war. He's even more scared because I've been speechless and in a haze for such a long time. I've developed a routine: sleep, eat, and work. That's all I can do, yet I realize how wrong this is. Peeta is the one who is ill and I'm the walking dead. I know that he has gotten worse and I still can't snap out of this. Since he can't get me to talk, Peeta asks me simple yes or no questions. I respond by either shaking my head up and down (for yes) or back and forth sideways (for no). Every morning and night, Peeta asks the same questions:

"Do you love me?" I nod. "Do I love you?" Nod again. "Will you talk to me?" I hesitate and remain unresponsive. After a minute, I shake my head. Peeta lets out a heavy sigh and kisses me on the forehead. "Well, it's improvement." He says that often too.

Over the past two months, I've made a habit of staring blankly into space. Peeta says it's because I'm in shock. I didn't know that it can last for this long. I'm amazed that I still have a job at the hospital. If I need to pass information on to someone, I write it down for them. Jake has visited my office a few times in attempt to get me talking again, but it never works. Some days I manage a smile or even a laugh, but it's a rarity. My thoughts are interrupted by Peeta's voice and his hands fiddling with my hair.

"I wanted to tell you a story before we go to bed."

I'm not a child, why would I want to hear a bedtime story? I let it go because I know that Peeta is on the verge of a breakdown. I can see it in his eyes, the tears welling up in the corners.

"I remember the day that I asked you out. It wasn't too long ago. Let's see," Peeta scratches his chin and he recalls that day, "After the war, we both returned to District 12. You couldn't ignore me forever though. You did ignore me until that first night. You came knocking on my door at two in the morning rambling about a nightmare. After about a week or so, I offered to spend the nights at your house. Even though you attempted to blow me off for about a year, you would still find me faithfully at night. Eventually, you said "hi" when you saw me in town and in time, you voluntarily came over my house with fresh game. It took a while, but you started to come around. I knew that it'd be foolish to rush into a relationship, so I settled for rebuilding our friendship. I could see that you loved me from the way you looked at me. Still, I doubted that we would ever get past the friend stage. So, on your 20th birthday, I decided to make a move. I planned a surprise party and made a cake for you. It was all going as planned. You looked amazing, as always, but you had no idea. You thought we were going on a picnic in the Meadow. Little did you know that I was going to ask you out and when I did, your reaction was priceless. You gave me a scowl and punched me in the arm." Peeta pauses for a moment rubbing the exact spot where I had punched him. "I had a feeling you might do that and try to run off, so I quickly grabbed your arm-"

"And pulled me close to give me the sweetest kiss. It was real. No one was watching, well I thought that until my party guests showed up from out of nowhere. I do have to admit that I wasn't surprised about that. Anyway, you pulled away and asked me if you could have the pleasure of being my boyfriend..and one day my husband."

After being speechless for two months, I guess it's Peeta's turn since he's staring at me in awe.

"Katniss.." his words are cut off by my lips pressing against his. He pulls away from me until our faces are about an inch apart. "What do you think about having children?"

Immediately, I cross my arms. "This again?"

"When I was in the hospital, I saw one of my old friends from school. He wasn't killed when District 12 was bombed and got married to a woman from District 11. They were leaving the hospital with a newborn boy. He remembered me and we talked for a little while. Their faces were glowing with delight when they looked at their child. Honestly, I was jealous. Then, he started talking about what he's going to teach his son when he's older and-"

"You were even more jealous." I pause for a moment. I had previously caved in to Peeta's request for children because I had felt bad for him. I realize it was wrong, but I did it for him. "Peeta, I'm not sure."

"But you were willing to try before."

"I lied. I only agreed with you because I was afraid of losing you. I'm sorry, Peeta."

"Listen, it's not your fault. You have every reason to not want a child. It's because you don't want them to live in this hell of a world, but sometimes you have to take risks in life. You, of all people should know that by now. You took a risk by volunteering to take Prim's place in the Reaping and becoming the Mockingjay. You've taken so many risks in your life, Katniss. You knew the odds were never in your favor, but you still did it anyway."

It's times like these that I despise Peeta's uncanny ability with persuasion and words. He has a way of getting to me in a way that no one else can. "We need something like this, Katniss. Someone who will give us joy and hope."

"And heartache, Peeta. Do you have any idea what could happen in Panem? Anything can and that's what scares me. What if the Games are brought back? You know that our child will most likely be in them. I couldn't live with myself if that happened."

Peeta pulls me close and embraces me. As he kisses the top of my head, I break down into sobs. He knows that I haven't cried in a long time, so he holds me tighter.

"I love you and I promise that everything is going to be okay. I'm sorry I brought it up," Peeta whispers as he caresses my back. I want to tell him that it isn't his fault, but I am so emotionally drained that I stay silent.

It takes a while, but I eventually fall asleep in Peeta's arms. I wake up a few hours later. The clock reads 3AM. I notice Peeta is awake, staring at me lovingly.

I clear my throat, then speak "What's wrong?"

"I love you so much, that's all."

"Peeta, I'm-"

"You have nothing to apologize for, Katniss."

"Yes. Let me speak. I'm sorry that I didn't see the truth in your argument sooner. You're right. I've taken a lot risks in my life, but this is different. If anything bad happens to our child, it will be my fault because I had a part in it being born."

"We'll do everything to keep him or her safe, then."

"Peeta, you know that's impossible."

"I know, but we can give them a better life then we had. A loving mother and father and a steady home. There's a lot that can go wrong, but can we forget about that for a moment Katniss? Besides, it's been a while since we've been intimate." I roll my eyes when I see the smirk on his face.

Reluctantly, I give in yet again to Peeta Mellark's request, but not because I feel bad for him. This time it's because I need him, his love, and strength to consume me. More importantly because I'm completely in love with my husband and he's madly in love with me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys :) I just want to thank all of you who are following Love and War. I wish I could get back to all of you who have reviewed, but it's hard to do. Thank you guys so much :)**

**I'm sorry if the spacing is weird in this chapter. I don't know what is up with it today. I spent 15 minutes manually putting spaces between each of the lines just so the words wouldn't be**

** squished together ****because it didn't show up as double spaced when I uploaded it. **

"Katniss! I'm glad you're here, I have to tell you what happened in the hallway." Jake sped on his wheelchair to the front of my desk.

"What happened?" I ask curiously.

"You're talking again? That's great. I hope you won't lose your voice again. It's difficult having a one way conversation with someone."

"There's this new kid in the wing, from District 3. We had a race and I beat him. Then a peacekeeper came and told us we can't run in the hallway. He hadn't taken a good look at us so when he finally

saw us, he apologized and didn't have anything else to say."

"That's what he gets for messing with Jake Livingston."

"Have you seen Salama around?"

"I know she's running errands for Carrie, but I'm not sure when she'll be back."

"Okay, so maybe she won't mind me taking you somewhere. I made you something."

I raise my eyebrow, "Really?"

"I can't tell you, though, it's a surprise."

I go on lunch break in five minutes, so I accept Jake's offer. He's very talkative for a boy, but has a heart of gold. Jake always puts others first and loves people in general. Basically, he's the opposite

of how I am. Little does he know, I have a surprise for him as well.

We walk through the Square and Jake tells me about the things he could make Salama for her birthday. I'm not sure where where they live, but Jake reassures me that we aren't too far, yet not too

close.

Since the war ended, our District has been in the process of being rebuilt. New spacious cabins and cottages have been built in the Seam. They are a lot better than the houses that used to be here.

The good thing about this is that many people have moved back to 12, the ones who survived the bombings, and the reconstruction has attracted people from other Districts.

My thoughts are cut off by Jake explaining how much he loves their house and I'm not paying much attention to him. Soon enough, we reach the meadow and I can't believe I never thought about it

before. Salama's parents are both dead and she never mentioned anything about having relatives around. She never spoke about where she lived. In fact, she changed the subject whenever it came

up in conversation.

We reach a hole in the fence and Jake stands up.

"I can't use my chair here. It's a good thing that the rest of the way here was paved with stones."

I help him up and he wants to walk on his on, without my help. I allow it, but I stay right next to him the entire time.

"I used to hunt out here when I was your age."

His eyes are now wide, "That's cool. Did you hunt by yourself?"

He hit a nerve that I've done my best to avoid for a long time.

"Yeah. My old best friend, Gale Hawthorne."

"What happened to him?

"After the war, he got a fancy job in District 2. I haven't heard from him since."

"But you two were best friends." Were."Once you're best friends with someone, they won't ever leave you. You'll always have a part of them in your heart that even death can't separate."

I'm amazed by his wisdom, but when I look at his eyes, I can see the pain. He knows what he's talking about first hand. It's strange because Jake is always optimistic and friendly. I've never seen

him upset about anything. I remain silent the rest of the walk because I'm thinking about Gale. What if we had run away before the Reaping? What if I had chosen him over Peeta? When we pass our

old hunting spot, I get tense. We used to meet there when we were younger. My anger at the Capitol for causing this distance between Gale and I gets misdirected. Now, I'm annoyed at Jake for

beinghere. It feels like an invasion of my privacy. This spot is mine and Gale's. No one else is welcome here.

"We're almost here."

That's when I notice the lake and the house that's near it. Again, more memories that I don't want to be reminded of.

I haven't come this far out in the woods in a long time.

"This is our house. It's not the biggest, but Salama does her best to make it feel like home."

Surely, he realizes that this is inferior to where they must have lived in the Capitol. Jake opens the front door and we see Salama. I thought she was running errands for Carrie. Her eyes are red and

puffy when she looks up at us.

"Jake, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the hospital and why did you drag Katniss all the way out here?" There is no weakness in her voice, but a strength that I recognize all toowell.

Even still, Jake walks up to her and gives her a reassuring hug, which just makes it more difficult for Salama to regain her composure.

"I wanted to show Katniss what I made her."

"I'm sorry, Katniss. Jake wasn't thinking when he brought you here. He knows better, but I guess he was excited to show you his gift."

"I have some final touches to make, can you both go outside for a few minutes?" Jake asks.

"Sure," Salama replies, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

I can tell that they've been through more than what I was led to believe. There are so many questions running through my head, but I decide to keep quiet.

Salama lets out a sigh. "He doesn't understand as much as I do. I saw my mother and father's dead bodies before he did. He was devastated when I broke the news to him. I couldn't bear staying

in our house at the Capitol, so one day I explained to Jake about how District 12 was going to be known for its medicine and doctors. I told him we were going to move there. Our parents had been

wealthy, so they left a lot of money behind, but no one in 12 would let me buy a house in the Seam because we were from the Capitol. To be honest, these woods intimidated me at first, but I've grown

accustomed to them."

I didn't expect her to open up to me like this. I know she's been through so much for someone her age, like I had. Her reason for telling me all this is that she doesn't have anyone else to tell.

"We spent the first night camped out just outside the fence, but I knew it wouldn't do. I decided to check out the woods because I figured that we could somehow build a house or something. We came

across this little place and it's become our new home. I did my best to be wise with the money that my parents left, so I hunted for food. I wasn't good at it, but I needed to learn fast in order to keep

Jake alive. Then, after a couple years of surviving that way, Jake's leukemia returned. I was scared because I knew he had to go back to the hospital. So, for him to be treated I had to use some of the

money. Somehow, I met Julie and she got me a job there. She only knows that my parents are dead. Now, I can use some of the money to buy clothes, food, and basic necessities from the Square

because I don't have to worry about running out of cash."

Throughout the entire confession, Salama has kept a calm expression. I wait a moment to see if she is going to continue, but when she doesn't, I speak. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea how much you've

both gone through. You've had to stay strong for Jake even though on the inside you were falling apart. Listen, I'm going to talk to Peeta about helping you two out. In the mean time, we should be

heading back to the hospital." I still have a surprise for them on the way back.

Then, she does something I'm not prepared for. She hugs me and when she does, I end up crying too. Both of us are stressed from being strong for others. I can't help but see myself in Salama. Even

though we aren't completely alike, we both have been through a lot. I can relate to her in a way that most people wouldn't be able to.

"Katniss, your present is ready!" Jake interrupts us, but joins in on the group hug. "Come on. Girls are so slow."

"We're coming Jakey, right behind you," Salama laughs and it doesn't seem forced. I'm glad she opened up to me, it seems to have helped her a lot.

Jake then makes us wait in front of the door for a second.

"Here you go. It's from Salama and me."

"And Peeta, but he refused to be given any credit for it."

The gift is so beautiful that tears threaten to fall down my face again, but I don't let them. I'm not sure how they made this, but it's almost as breathtaking as my father's. A bow, sheath, and set of

arrows with my initials inscribed on each- in Peeta's handwriting.


	11. Chapter 11

**I hope you guys have enjoyed these past couple of chapters. I wanted to get some background info on some of the new characters before I get back to the suspenseful stuff. **

**I'm really surprised with how much feedback I've gotten on the story and it's exceeding my expectations. I do this almost every chapter, but thank you guys so much for the reviews. They really are appreciated a lot. :)**

We leave for the Capitol in a week. I'm regretting the trip already. I have tried to convince Peeta that we stay home, but he said that there's no guarantee we'll be safe here. I feel like we're in the Games again- on our way to certain death. I've been having nightmares every night since Paylor's phone call and Peeta has been having more tracker jacker attacks than ever before. The nightmare or reality (I still haven't figured out what it was) with Snow only intensified everything. It's amazing Peeta and I can sleep at night.

One thing that I'm happy about is Salama and Jake's new home. After discussing their situation with Peeta, my mother had overheard our conversation. She volunteered to adopt them (which means I have a new sister and brother) Then Peeta decided that they could live in his house in the Victor's Village since we live in my house. I haven't seen my mother so happy in years. She enjoys taking care of Jake and Salama and I'm glad that she does. I know that they are also thankful for having a parent figure in their lives again.

I'm in my office, working on some paperwork, which I hate doing, when Julie knocks on my door.

"Katniss, how's the work progressing?" she asks.

"I'm almost finished." I reply.

"Good, I would like to discuss something with you."

"Sure," I reply as I put my pen down.

"You requested to take next weekend off, right?"

"Yes, I did. Peeta and I have an event to attend."

"I know. I will be there too." She pauses, expecting me to be surprised.

"Oh, really?" I don't think she's convinced. I never was a good liar.

"Yes. I was a lieutenant in the war. My father was a Peacekeeper from the Capitol. My mother was the mayor of District 4 before I was born. They fell in love, got married, and had seven children. I always hated the Capitol, but I never hated my parents. Maybe my anger was directed at them in my youth, but I never blamed them for the Games and such."

"I don't think I have to explain my part in the war. Apparently everyone knows about the Mockingjay. They're even teaching about the Rebellion to the kids in schools now."

"But living through it and learning about it are two very different things, Katniss. You and I know that. I was a lieutenant in one of the squads that had a key role in the bombing of District 2. I didn't like the idea of innocent civilians being killed, but I had to follow orders. Soldier Hawthorne was always hotheaded when it came to the war. He was bent on revenge, but what he did that day was extreme, even for him."

Gale. He just keeps coming up in conversation and my thoughts lately, isn't he?

"I know. I can't tell how many times he used to complain about the Capitol when we were younger, but he wasn't that hotheaded."  
"That's right, you knew Gale. You both grew up in 12. He was your cousin, right?" The look on her face tells me that she never believed it.

"Best friend, actually."

"Maybe more than that at some point."

"Maybe, but it doesn't matter now because I'm with Peeta. Besides, I haven't seen Gale since the war. I had invited him to the wedding, but he never showed."

"He's probably still sore with a broken heart."

"It's been 4 years, he has moved on."

"I'm not sure. I didn't know much about him anyway. He'll probably be at the celebration, you know."

"With an entourage of good-looking girls at his side."

We both laugh at the idea, picturing Gale with a bunch of females flocking to his side. I have to admit that I find it hilarious and Julie agrees.

"Anyway, how is Peeta doing?"

"He's been at a stable point for a while. He hasn't shown any signs of improvement, but he hasn't gotten any worse either"

"Still, he doesn't look too well. I hope the doctors find a cure for it."

"I'm sure that if they were even trying to find a cure that we would know."

"True, but they were able to prevent most of the cancer cases in Panem. Even though they haven't found a cure, it's very rare that someone will be diagnosed with any form of cancer these days. Peeta and Jake are the only ones living in District 12 who are dealing with it."

This statement only makes me more angry at Snow for supposedly making Peeta get leukemia. He's still trying to break me and mess with my emotions. "Is there a way that someone could give someone the cancer?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I know that cancer isn't contagious like the flu or the common cold. The only way that someone could contract it is if the cancerous cells were injected into their bloodstream. I don't know too much else about it. It's a complicated process. The Capitol used it many years ago to infect traitors and such. To give them a slow death. It took two to four years for the symptoms to really kick in, then eventually the victims died." Julie just shakes her head.

"That's horrible."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that's how Peeta contracted it." She looks at the clock on the wall and starts to get up, "I'm sorry, but I have a meeting to attend. I have to get as much work in before I, well we leave. Have a good day."

"You too and I guess I'll see you at the Capitol in a week."

As I put the pieces together in my head, Julie's statement seems to have truth to it, especially the part about the length of time it takes for symptoms to appear. What if the Capitol used more than just tracker jacker venom on Peeta while he was being held captive? The startling reality is that I'm almost completely sure that it's true.


	12. Chapter 12

I'm wide awake with Peeta, who's holding me in his arms. Neither of us got any sleep last night and the sun is rising. We have been dreading this day for months and now it's finally here.

"Well, we have big-" I'm cut off by our bedroom door swinging open.

"We have a very big, big, big day today! I'm glad you two are already awake. Go get ready, we're on a schedule." I barely understand what Effie Trinket is saying because I keep wondering how she got into our house. She's standing their, tapping her fingers on our door to rush us.

"Effie, we'll be ready in an hour, don't worry. You can wait downstairs. It's nice to see you again, though." Peeta speaks for me because I'm still wondering about how random people like Snow and Effie can just barge into _our _house whenever they want. We have locks on the doors. Although I didn't get any sleep, I'm in somewhat of a haze. As soon as the cold water makes contact with my skin in the shower, I wake up from it. Peeta is in the bathroom shaving and brushing his teeth. "Katniss," he says over the sound of running water, "what did you do with your pajamas?"

For the first time, I notice that I had unknowingly stepped into the shower fully clothed.

"I'll give them to you in a second." I peel the soaking wet pajamas off my body and throw them towards Peeta's direction.

"Hey, watch it, Katniss," he says, annoyed that they landed on his shoulder.

I peek through the shower curtain to see Peeta chuckling and putting the clothes in the hamper.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aiming for them to land on you."

"Well, then you are an expert."

"Why are we even getting ready if we'll probably have our prep teams when we get on the train?"

"Because we have to look presentable before they dress us up."  
Peeta is done shaving by the time I come out the shower, so I grab a towel and wrap it around me. I go to my closet and pick out a simple outfit: a solid black tshirt and cargo pants. This time, I purposely throw the towel on Peeta's head after getting dressed. He was fixing our bed when a soggy towel fell from him. He lifted it off his face to make eye contact with me.

"What happened? It was an unidentified flying object."

As he steps closer to me, he says, "It was a towel that you purposely threw at me." Upon completion of those words, he grabs my waist and pulls me close to him, giving me a sweet kiss. We both are smiling like children afterward.

As I'm waiting for Peeta to get ready, I walk downstairs to find Effie and Haymitch talking and my mother, Salama, and Jake preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

"Hi everyone." I save myself the trouble of saying hi to each person.

"Katniss, I see your ready. You don't have a braid anymore?" Effie asks.

"I cut my hair a couple of years ago."

"What a shame, it looked so nice on you."

"Nice? Ms. Mockingjay over here could have used it as a weapon in the arena." Haymitch jokes.

"Yeah, I could have whipped them to death with my hair," I respond sarcastically. "Are you going to be sober for the event tonight?" I generally ignore Haymitch's drinking problem, but I had to get him back for his comment about my braid. He just smirks and continues his conversation with Effie. I walk over to the kitchen to catch up with my mom and the kids.

"Katniss, I hope you have fun in the Capitol." Jake was too young to remember the details of the Rebellion.

"I wouldn't say "fun," Jakey. Mom and I will explain later." Salama replies.

"Breakfast is almost finished," my mom announces.

"Mom, you didn't have to make anything for us. We'll probably be given food on the train. Thank you, though." I hadn't even noticed that Peeta was downstairs.

According to Effie, we have exactly 15 minutes to eat, say our goodbyes, and board the train. Somehow we get all that down and are on our way to the Capitol.

I'm sitting on my bed in the train, thinking of the past two times I was here. Both of those times, we were on our way to the arena and a third time for the Victory Tour. The memories aren't good, especially with the threat that something is going to happen tonight. I doubt it's anything pleasant. Eventually, Peeta finds me in here and we don't talk at all. He gives me a hug and keeps me there in his arms until someone knocks on our door.

"We're here." Haymitch informs us.

"So soon? We left at 7 in the morning and it's 3 in the afternoon."

"Technology, engines. Apparently it's possible for a train to travel more than 250 miles per hour."

"We'll be right out," Peeta says.

"You better hurry before Effie comes in here to kick your butts out of the train." Haymitch laughs as he takes a drink from the bottle in his hands. He leaves and I turn into Peeta's arms again.

"I'm here, Katniss. I'm not going to leave your side."

"They didn't tell us that we would be here so soon. It used to be a day's travel to the Capitol."

"Well, a lot has changed. Now let's go, I hear Effie frantic footsteps."

We step out of the train and are swarmed by Capitol reporters.

"Peeta, is it true that you were diagnosed with leukemia?"

"Katniss, we heard that you haven't seen Gale since the War. Is this true? How do you feel about seeing him for the first time in four years?"

We keep walking as the reporters stalk us to where we will be staying. They aren't allowed in the building, thank goodness.

"Not much has changed here, has it?" Peeta asks Effie.

"Sometimes that's a good thing, Peeta," she replies, but I have the feeling she's keeping something from us.

As we wait in the atrium, I see some of my old prep team heading our way: Octavia, Flavius, and Venia. It will never be complete again since Cinna and Portia's deaths. We all greet each other and they tell us that Peeta and I will be prepped together. They take us to a large room and instruct us to strip off our clothes. It's a good thing Peeta and I are already married, otherwise this would be awkward. They seem surprised when they see I've let the hair grow back on my legs, but Peeta just tells them that there was no need to wax in the winter because no one could tell anyway. Really, I couldn't care less about having leg hair and Peeta is just covering for me. His answer seems to satisfy them and they begin the familiar process, of scrubbing, waxing, and plucking. When they're done, they show us what we will be wearing for the evenings events.

"Here is your dress, Katniss" Venia helps me put it on and I notice a small piece of paper on the ground. I pick it up to read and I almost cry.

_Girl on Fire,_

_This is a special dress that I designed for you before the Victory Tour. It's a pearl white evening gown made out of pure silk. The neckline might be a little too low for your comfort, but I'm sure I can adjust it if you'd like it higher. _

_Cinna_

Cinna designed this. I observe myself in the mirror and feel like I'm looking at someone else. The dress clings to my curves and indeed has a low neckline that is shaped in a "V." My hair is crafted into loose waves and a silver mockingjay pin carefully placed in it. I'm afraid I might trip over the dress if I walk, but Peeta assures me that he'll catch me if I fall. My shoe's heels must be at least four inches high, definitely out of my comfort zone, but Effie taught me how to walk in heels a long time ago. I think there's real diamonds on my heels.

"Katniss, you look amazing. I'm sorry for the cliche, but I can't think of anything else to say." Peeta is practically drooling over me in complete awe.

"But so not me."

"I like the real you better," he smiles and takes my hand in his as we walk over to Effie. She must have been in the room for a while because she's sitting down writing something.

"You two are finished and what a beautiful pair you make. Peeta, in a classic tuxedo and Katniss in an elegant gown. Your prep team has to get themselves ready for the dinner, but you'll see them again soon. Now, you have to head off to greet some old friends. Annie Odair and her son, President Paylor, Gale, and the others."

I bite my lip at the mention of Gale's name. I'm now extremely nervous, but that's quickly replaced by anger. Gale has cut me out of his life for the past four years and I'm not going to just let him in again like nothing happened. Effie leads us to a room further down and opens the door.

"I present to you the star crossed lovers. You don't have too long in here, so make the reunions quick. You all will get the chance to talk more at the dinner."

When I look at everyone's faces, I don't see happiness. I don't think Peeta and I look thrilled either, but their expressions are different. They've removed their masks that they've portrayed to everyone else. They look so worried. I hear someone sigh of relief, which calms me a bit.

"Thank goodness you two made it here okay. My sources tell me that tonight may go terribly wrong, so security measures have been toughened all over." President Paylor greets us.

While Peeta is talking to Paylor, I notice someone lounging on a sofa in the corner talking to Haymitch. I walk up to them and they both look up at me.

"Catnip?" It's Gale.

"Hi" I weakly reply.

He looks at me and mutters something. The next thing I know, he's crushing the glass cup in his hand. Haymitch is laughing like a mad man and I don't even have to guess that he's very drunk. But when I look at Gale, I didn't expect what I see now. He's definitely drunk and by the wild look in his eyes, it's undeniable that he's hooked on morphling.

**I didn't expect this chapter to be so long. I hope you guys liked it. Now, it's your turn to review. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm sorry if Gale is kinda OOC in this chapter. My reason is because he's really drunk and is being stupid. ** **The last chapter ended without a good cliffhanger, I know. I just had to get that information about Gale out there in order to move on in the story. I assure you that there will be a few more cliffhangers to come. I can't forget to mention how happy you guys made me. I checked my email last night to find 14 new review alerts (that's the most I've ever gotten) You all made my day, so your gift for all those amazing reviews will be this chapter (and maybe Chapter 14 if I have time to get it done today) :) **

After Gale's outburst that injured his hand, a medic came and tended to him. My heart is broken at the sight of him. He has been through so much in the past four years. I should have called him, even if he never got in contact with me. I have a chance now that he's seated at the same table as Peeta and I.

"How's your hand?"

"Could be worse. You're more beautiful than I remember." I can't help but feel uncomfortable with the way he is eying me. His eyes are running all over my body and I hate it. I'm married to Peeta. I convince myself that it's because he's drunk.

"What happened to you, Gale? You aren't the same person anymore."

"Pain. It all starts with the pain. Then something to block out the pain."

"Why didn't you ever call or come to District 12? We could have talked things through before it got to this point."

"Listen, Catnip. I knew you were married to lover boy over there," he points a shaky drunken finger towards Peeta, who is talking to Annie Odair. "I didn't want to mess that up."

"But you were still my best friend, Gale."

"You were never the forgiving type. I thought you wrote me off completely after Prim's death."

"Gale, you need help."

"Help. Well that's something no one ever offered me. Especially not you." He is raising his voice at me and Peeta takes notice. "You left me in the dust, Catnip and ran off with him."

"You chose to leave, Gale!"

"Because I knew you were in love with him, not me."

"You were the one who ran away. The only reason I knew where you were was because Greasy Sae told me."

"I knew you'd never forgive me for Prim's death."

"Maybe if you were sober right now, I could forgive you."

Gale steps up and walks over to me, but Peeta steps in front of him first.

"Don't talk to _my _wife like that, Gale. You need time to cool off. Why don't you stay in District 12 for a while, I might let you stay in our house so I can keep an eye on you."

"I don't know. I have work and stuff."

"You're the CEO, you'll be fine. Besides, you need a break more than anyone."

Gale's rage is calmed by Peeta's offer and I'm nothing but happy that they are getting along.

I hadn't noticed how everyone is looking at us because of the scene we just made. I am so embarrassed that I ask Peeta if we can leave. Paylor informs us that the train is scheduled to leave in two hours, so we spend that time catching up with old friends and meeting new ones that had a part in the Rebellion After an hour and a half, we say our goodbyes only to find out that President Paylor will be on the same train to District 12 to meet with the mayor. Also, Gale will be coming along and I hope he use that time to recover.

We make our way back to the train silently. Nothing terrible has happened besides my argument with a drunk Gale. Maybe the nightmare with Snow wasn't a reality. Either way, it had most of us worried the entire night. If nothing happened, then why do I feel so uneasy? We're on our way back home, far away from the Capitol.

"Peeta you get your rest, I'm going to stay up and keep guard. We aren't safe yet."

He looks like he's about to argue, but I scowl at him and he just pulls the sheet onto his body.

"Fine. Wake me up in a few hours so that I can keep guard and you can get your rest. It's 10PM now. Wake me up at 1."

"Okay."

"And Katniss."

"I love you"

"I love you too, Peeta."

The next few hours remind me too much of the arena. Peeta is sleeping, while I'm keeping watch. Neither of us are comfortable yet because there's still a chance that something can go terribly wrong. Eventually, I wander off to check on Gale, making sure that I lock our door and take the key with me. His room isn't too far from ours, so I decide it's safe to proceed.

When I reach his door, I press my ear against it. Silence. Maybe, he's asleep. It's 12:30AM, he has to be asleep. I'm just about to walk back to my room when the door opens.

"Gale, you're awake?"

"What are you doing here, Catnip?" Gale looks like a wreck. His clothes are wrinkled, his hair looks like a bird's nest, and there's vomit on his shoes.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure?" he questions.

"You really should take a shower, Gale."

"I know, but I have this massive migraine."

"Did you take anything for it?"

"That's the reason why. There's this thing they injected me with at the Capitol. It got all the alcohol and junk out my body, but left me with a terrible migraine."

"The shower will help. I'll wait for you until you come out."

"Okay."

After he closes the bathroom door behind him, I run over to the window to let in fresh air. It reeks like garbage in here. He doesn't take too long, which is a good thing because I have to get back to my quarters before Peeta wakes up.

"Now can I give my best friend a hug?" I ask.

I don't let him answer, I just wrap my arms around him. His hair is still wet and dripping on me, but I don't mind. Even though I'm married to Peeta, I still care about Gale, he's always been like a brother to me. Right before I pull away, his lips briefly touch the top of my head.

"We have a lot of catching up to do, but you need your rest. We'll talk more when we get to 12. Peeta's offer still stands, you know. You can stay at our house for a little while so we can keep an eye on you."

"Thanks, Catnip. It's good to see you again after all these years."

"Goodnight, Gale."

"Night."

I creep back to my room, hoping that Peeta is still asleep. Fortunately, he is. I take a look at the clock and call his name. He turns over and smiles at me.

"My turn?" he asks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Yep. Why are you so happy?"

"I like watching you sleep. You look even more beautiful and not as hostile."

I don't bother replying to his statement. I just lay my head on the pillow while Peeta gently plays with my hair. Strangely enough, I don't have a dream or nightmare. I just sleep, which is a good thing. I'm calmer than I was earlier and I subconsciously think that everything is fine.

The next thing I know, I hear Peeta tell me that we just entered District 12. I'm more than half asleep, so it takes me a while to comprehend what he said. Then, I feel so light and I can't figure out why Peeta is on top of me. We're being thrown into the air, everything in our room being tossed in every direction.. My back slams against something hard. When I open my eyes, I register the instant pain that runs all over me. My body is aching and we're outside? How did that happen? I look over to Peeta who rolls off me. Blood is gushing out of him like crazy and I'm paralyzed. I'm afraid I can't move even though I want to. I can see the debris of the train all around and the bright orange flames that engulf the trees in the forest.

I hear yelling and screaming. Then shouts of Peacekeepers.

"The train exploded!"

"No, it crashed into another train!"

"We'll figure out what happened later. President Paylor was on this train. Right now we need to find her and the other passengers. Call all the peacekeepers from 12 and get them here immediately."

And that's the last thing I hear before I black out completely.


	14. Chapter 14

**This chapter is definitely one of the shorter ones in Love and War, but it's quite eventful and mysterious. Enjoy and please review :)**

**I told you guys I'd try to get two chapters uploaded today because of your amazing reviews. Thanks so much!**

I wonder if this is what it feels like to die. At least I got to marry Peeta and see Gale again. I dismiss the thought of being dead when I see a shady figure standing by my bed. It takes me a few minutes for my vision to clear up. The morphling had blurred it and made everything look fuzzy.

"Catnip?"

I don't say anything because I'm not sure who the person is. I just stare blankly at them, wondering why they're here. "Don't worry, you'll remember soon. You hit you're head pretty hard, but Peeta protected you from the initial impact. It messed him up really bad, though. He's not allowed to have any visitors, especially you. They think you might try to break him out or kill him. I guess they remember something about you from the Games."

Peeta? Peeta is okay, I think.

"Gale?"

"Yes, Catnip?"

"What happened?" I ask because I'm having a difficult time putting the pieces together.

"From what I heard, another train slammed into ours causing a huge explosion. A lot of people died. The rest suffered everything from cut and scrapes to broken spines and ribs. You bruised your back and have a concussion, but the doctors say they might release you today. I just got cut up and it's not pretty. I'll go get a nurse to let them know you're awake."

I'm attempting to process all of this information until a doctor comes. He does a check up on me and decides that I can be released. Gale tells me that it's because Peeta is still in the Med Center and they don't want me to make a scene about it. I'm instructed not to sleep until 11PM and to sit up. No laying down or anything. I'm glad I can feel my limbs again and I can walk with a wobble, but I'm not on a wheelchair. I'm surprised that Gale doesn't look too injured, expect for a nasty gash in the arm. I use him as support as we walk back to my house.

"You probably don't understand everything yet and you definitely aren't yourself. The doctor said to take it easy. You're mother and these two kids came by to visit you while you were knocked out. You aren't allowed to have any visitors for a few days. So I guess that leaves just you and me. At least we'll have time to catch up."

I nod, but my head is starting to throb. It's the morphling wearing off. I think that Gale is carrying me inside the house. He props me up on a sofa in the living room.

"My head hurts a lot."

"It's a side effect of the morphling. I can give you a less intense pain killer."

"The doctor will allow that?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Gale replies with a smirk, "but let's talk first."

"Okay." I'm extremely dizzy, but I've been waiting to talk to Gale for a while.

"There might be hope for Peeta's illness."

"How do you know about his leukemia?"

"Everyone in Panem knows, Catnip. You two are celebrities."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so anyway, I've heard rumors that a permanent cure has been found. I figure we can have them inject it into Peeta or put it in his IV while he's unconscious."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Maybe, but it's a possible cure."

"Has it been proven to actually work?"

Gale pauses, pondering intently. "No."

I take a deep breath and contemplate the risks of this.

"Just think about it okay? It could mean the difference between life and death for him."

"Alright."

"I'll get you the painkillers."

He gets up and walks over to the kitchen. He returns with a glass of water and two blue pills. "Here you go."

But then something happens that I don't expect. Gale leans down to kiss me. I don't have the strength to push him off, so he moves my body so that I'm laying down on the sofa. I'm not really sure what is going. I mean I just got out of the hospital and Gale isn't in good shape either. All that I know is that he is pressing his body onto mine really hard.

I wake up the next morning completely clueless. I'm staring at my clothes, which are thrown on the ground and wondering why they're there. I know that something happened yesterday, I just can't remember what. I hear the shower running upstairs and knock on the bathroom door.

"Gale?"

"Yeah Catnip?"

"What happened yesterday?"

"You just fell asleep after you took your medicine"

"Okay, thanks."

Wait a minute, didn't the doctor say I wasn't supposed to lay down or sleep until the evening? My head is starting to hurt again. Something happened between Gale and I last night, but what?

**Katniss is completely clueless. It's horrible, I know. You guys might be able to guess what happened. Gale's officially a major jerk in my book. Maybe not..remember I said that he's addicted to alcohol and morphling? I'll let you guys put the pieces together. **


	15. Chapter 15

***this is an edited chapter 15. I added an event to the very end. **

**:) You guys are amazing, you know that? I love when I check my email and I'm surprised with a bunch of review alerts. You will have to wait a little while to find out more about whatever happened between Gale and Katniss, though. Remember, she's still recovering from the train accident and her memory isn't too sharp because of that. Don't worry, it'll come up again in a few chapters and please don't hate me for it. **

Gale left about an hour ago to meet with some clients, but he promised to return by 3PM. I wish he would have stayed with me. Since, Peeta is still in the hospital and no one has told me how he is doing, I want someone with me. Besides, Gale and I have grown closer since I left the Med Center. I'm not sure why, but I like it. I'm glad to have my best friend back.

I don't like sitting around doing nothing and since I can't hunt, I decide to visit my mother. She seems surprised to see me.

"Katniss, dear. You are supposed to be taking it easy at home."

"It gets boring being alone."

"You look like you're getting better, come on in." We settle down in the living room area. "It's a good thing that Gale is taking care of you while Peeta is in the Med Center. He'll appreciate that someone is looking after you."

"It's funny because Peeta had invited Gale to stay with us so that we could keep an eye on _him_. It looks like that changed," I laugh.

"Speaking of Peeta, has anyone told you what happened after the accident?"

"No, I've been worried sick about him, though."

"Since I'm his mother in law, I'm one of the nurses who checks up on him. He's in a coma, Katniss. Peeta risked his life to save yours. Apparently, he used his body as a shield to protect you from the flying debris in the accident. I'm afraid that his heart ceased beating once, but the doctors were able to revive him. Do you know how long it has been since you were released from the hospital?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. Since then, my memory has been very foggy."

She looks genuinely concerned about me and takes my hand. "It's been one week. Don't worry, you will get better soon."

"But Peeta, he is in a coma and it's my fault." I am about to get up, but my mother stops me.

"I knew this might happen. Katniss, you have to be patient. You will get a phone call from either me or one of the doctors when you can see him."

I don't want to stay here while Peeta is suffering in a hospital bed. I don't care if I have to break into the hospital, I'm going to go see him. Someone knocks on the door and I'm about to make a run for it, but I end up running right into the visitor.

"Catnip, calm down. Look at me, Katniss."

When I don't look at him, he lifts my chin for me. "Everything is going to be okay. Relax. I'm going to take you back home."

He has a firm grip on me and pulls me back to my house. As soon as we enter, I collapse into a fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably. Gale picks me up and carries me upstairs to the guest room. For once, I'm glad he isn't drunk because I know that he's really here for me.

It takes a long time, but I finally calm down. I have to admit that it's awkward resting my head on Gale's chest, but he doesn't seem to mind. I listen to his steady heart beat for a while until I decide to ask him something.

"What happened to you?"

He sighs, "I figured that you would ask that again."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"It's fine. You have a right to know." Gale puts his arm around me and pulls me closer, a gesture that makes me feel uncomfortable. I sit up and move away from him. "I'm sorry, I just thought it would help to have my best friend close."

"Then you can have me close from a distance."

"Anyway, after the war I was offered a job to help rebuild District 2. I mostly planned out things for security measures, but after the Nut was reconstructed, I was out of a job. Then, someone offered me one at a weapons manufacturer. I moved up in ranks quickly because I drowned myself in my work. A few months later, the CEO died from a heart attack and I was appointed the new CEO. It wasn't too long after that I started drinking. I hated being home because it only made me depressed to think of how I lost you to Peeta. Eventually, the drinking wasn't enough to block out the painful memories, so I turned to morphling. Both only made me feel worse, Catnip. They told me it would make me feel better."

"I'm sorry for everything, but this is how it turned out. I'm married to Peeta now."

Gale clenches his fists, but when I touch he shoulder, his body relaxes.

"I know, but at least we're talking again."

"Yes, but I don't think it will ever be the same like it used to be."

He looks really disappointed, but I know that it's true.

"I'm going to check myself into the hospital. I haven't had a drink or the morphling since I got here and my body is going crazy."

"I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner."

"If Peeta weren't in the hospital, you'd still be recovering there, not here. I'm not blaming you for anything."

"You promise you won't leave 12 without telling me?"

"I don't think I'm going anywhere else for a while."

With that he just gets up and leaves. His entire demeanor has changed. He doesn't say goodbye or offer to give me a hug. Nothing. I'm hurt, but at the same time I'm glad that he's taking responsibility for his actions. I walk back to my room and sit on an empty bed.

"I miss you Peeta, please come back soon," I whisper.

I hate being alone like this, I feel so vulnerable. Gale just left me, the one who is supposed to still be recovering from a concussion, to deal with his own problems. I haven't given much thought to the cure he had told me about. I'm not sure if Peeta will agree to it. Maybe that's why Gale said that it would be administered to him while he's unconscious, but I won't let that happen. I want Peeta to be awake when the cure is given to him. I decide to call someone I haven't talked to in a while. I could just visit them, but it would remind too much of Gale.

The phone rings five times before someone answers.

"Hello?" Silence. "Haymitch?" I hear a loud crashing noise and decide to go find out what happened. I grab a jacket and walk down to Haymitch's house. When I get there, I just open the door because he rarely remember to lock it.

"Haymitch!" I scream at the sight of his lifeless body. "Are you stupid?" I shake him violently.

"Wake up!" "You never went to the hospital after the train accident did you?" I don't remember seeing him at all since then. I can't figure out why I'm crying, maybe I actually care about him. I don't know. All I know is that he's not breathing and his heartbeat is nowhere to be found. I'm not a doctor or a healer like my mother, but I've been in the arena twice and I know a dead person when I see one. And Haymitch Abernathy is definitely one of them.


	16. Chapter 16

**If you didn't read the edited Chapter 15, go back and read the end again. Otherwise, you'll be confused about what's going on in this chapter. I added something to the end so that it'd have a better cliffhanger. Please don't be mad at me, it's just how things in the story are turning out. **

While, I'm in the waiting area, I decide to sneak off to find Peeta. It's a good thing that I don't have to pass the Pediatric Ward to get to the ICU because I don't feel like talking to anyone. I log on one of the computers and find exactly where Peeta is staying. It's late at night, so I have a better chance of not getting stopped by a doctor. Hopefully, my mother is busy in some other part of the Med Center right now.

"Peeta," I whisper as I push the door open. I feel the rush of cold air that gives me instant goosebumps. "Peeta!" I speed walk up to his bedside. "Peeta please don't die on me. I already lost Haymitch, I don't want to lose you too. Not in the same day, not ever." For all the tears I was unable to cry a few months ago, lately they've been coming a lot more often. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night or I'll be cooking when I suddenly break down completely.

The thing is, Peeta looks more normal than usual. He has no scratches or burn marks. I guess that was the first thing they fixed when he got here, but he's still fragile and weak. He's still not awake. At least his heart is beating, but I want to see his eyes again, the ones that remind me that everything is going to be okay. I trace my fingers over his nose, lips, and entire face. More than anything, I want my Peeta back. Then, I get an idea. I decide to kiss him. I lean in to give him a lengthy kiss. After a minute I pull my head back up, only to be pushed back down by someone's hand. He's kissing me back. I'm so lost in the moment, that it doesn't occur to me that this means Peeta is awake from the coma. So, the kiss just lingers until my back starts to hurt and I pull away, more tears falling down my face.

He's just staring at me in unbelief, wondering if I'm really there.

"I thought you were dead," he finally spits out.

"Same here."

"You saved my life, Peeta."

"It's nothing new. Well, usually you were the one to save my life." He motions for me me to sit next to him on the hospital bed. I probably should get a doctor to let them know that he's awake, but I'm sure they won't mind me stealing a few minutes to be alone with him.

"I love you, Peeta. You have no idea how much I missed you. A lot has happened in these past two weeks. How are you feeling?"

"Wide awake and thankful to be with you again. I was going to give up, Katniss. I thought you were dead. I can't live without you."

"I know," I smile as I run my fingers through his ashy blonde hair.

"What have I missed?"

I'd like to tell him that I don't know. I'm still recovering from the train accident too. There's only a few things I'm sure of that happened.

"Well, I bruised my back and got a concussion in the accident, but I'm getting better."

"Do you even remember what's been going on since then"

"Only a few things. A lot of things happened that are fuzzy and cloudy in my memory. I do know that you're alive.."

"And?"

"What?"

"The way you said that, it sounded like there's something you're not telling me."

"Haymitch is dead." His face is in shock. "Paylor is also."

It had been a shock to me to find out that the President of Panem is dead. When I was looking for Peeta's location on the computer, I pulled up President Paylor's file to find the devastating news. I don't want to think about my nightmare and the train accident being related right now.

"How's Gale?"

Do I tell him that something happened between Gale and I that I can't remember? I decide not to. At least not now. When I'm sure of what happened, then I'll bring it up.

"He checked himself into the hospital for treatment."

"That's good."

"Peeta," I look him directly in the eyes, "Gale told me that there's a cure for the leukemia. It hasn't been widely tested, though."

I watch his expression change from blank to hopeful.

"I'll take it," he responds boldly.

"Are you sure? There's a lot of things that could go wrong."

"But there's a slight chance that it will work."

We continue debating about it until a doctor comes in the room to scold me. Luckily, my mother was with him and calmed him down.

"How did she get in here? We gave direct orders for her not to see Peeta."

"I'm sure she just missed him and wanted to stop by."

"Stop by, Mrs. Everdeen? She trespassed here."

"But Peeta is awake."

The doctor looks over to Peeta and notices that he's not in a coma. He mutters some inaudible things before reluctantly allowing me to stay.

For about an hour, they run tests and take blood samples from Peeta. Since I'm there, they decide to do a check up on me too. Eventually, they leave only to return 15 minutes later with the results. Peeta is going to be okay, that's all I care about.

"Our equipment picks up on these kind of these much sooner than they used to. I would like to congratulate you both."

I'm confused. "Why?"

The nurse looks at me with a huge smile and says, "You're pregnant."


	17. Chapter 17

I need to hunt. These four walls are suffocating me. I can't be pregnant. I have never seen Peeta so excited for something, while I'm in complete terror. I don't want to have a child, but I don't want Peeta to know that I never really made up my mind about that. I pretended to fall asleep soon after we got the news and we agreed that we'd talk about it in the morning. It's morning and he's asleep. I tell a nurse to let Peeta know that I'll be back in a few hours.

As soon as I walk outside, I notice Gale talking to a woman. She is dressed very professionally, but when she sees me, she walks away.

"What was that all about?" I ask Gale.

"That's my assistant, Celeste. I sent her off to run some errands for me."

"Shouldn't you be focusing on recovering?"

"I still have a company to run, Catnip."

"Peeta's awake."

"Really? That's good."

"Want to go hunting?"

"I'd never say no to that." Gale smiles and my heart jumps.

We stop at my house to pick up some things. I give Gale my old bow and arrows to borrow and I grab my new ones from Salama and Jake. Soon enough, we're back outside reminiscing about our younger days when hunting was for survival, not a hobby.

Gale sets up some snares and traps in the woods, while I gather some strawberries to snack on. At least, that's what I tell Gale I'm doing. When he finishes setting up his traps, he comes looking for me. He immediately notices the cleverly created snares of mine and smiles.

"Not bad. You're a lot better at this than you used to."

"I was in the arena two times and in a war, Gale."

"We were in a war." Our conversation shifted from lighthearted to serious.

"Let's not talk about that, okay?"

"That's fine with me." Gale notices a young fawn and shoots it down.

I catch a few rabbits in my traps and even a mouse. The mouse reminds me of Buttercup, Prim's old cat.

"Hey Gale," I try not to shout since I don't want to scare away any game.

"Yeah?" His attention is divided, but I know he's still listening.

"I wonder what ever happened to Buttercup."

He chuckles, "Why would you care? You always hated him. You don't try to drown a cat that you care about."

"Prim loved him. I think he just ran away after the war was over. After Prim died."

Prim is dead. I clench my jaw and use all of my energy not to yell at Gale. I want to blame him for her death and tell him off. Gale takes notice to my anger and is smart enough to keep a distance. Sweet, innocent Prim who loved people, so much that she died because she helped people. I will never forget that. Somehow, Gale is involved with her murder and I can't face him right now. Murder. Someone caused her death, Gale killed her. She didn't just accidentally die, _he _murdered her. Somehow my anger converts into tears and with each droplet that falls, my anger subsides. The familiar pang of pain swells up in me and I break down. Since the Games, my emotions haven't been as stable as they once were. I'm making these horrible choking and sobbing noises that will scare away any game within a 15 mile radius, but I don't care. Gale probably thinks I'm crazy, but takes a chance to hug me. I push him away, harder than I expected, and he flew backwards onto his back. He stays there for a moment and even though the tears are messing with my vision, I can see the hurt on his face. He's blaming himself for this because I'm blaming him. This viscous cycle that the Capitol started has to end. When will it ever stop? Gale is my best friend. The Capitol killed Prim. Gale was doing what he thought was best. He didn't expect Prim to be there. It's not his fault. It's the Capitol's fault. I repeat that over and over in my head. It's the Capitol's fault that Prim died.

It takes a long time, but I build up the nerve to help Gale up. He's still laying on the ground staring at the sky. The dried up tear stains on his cheeks surprise me because Gale rarely cries. I lift him up and pull him into me, wrapping my arms around his back. With him being in 12, maybe it's helping me heal also. We remain in a silent embrace until Gale speaks two words.

"I'm sorry."

I reply with three, "I forgive you."

At this point, it doesn't matter for what. I think it's implied that it's for everything and anything since we first met all those years ago. It takes a while before we regain our composure and talk.

"Did you inform Peeta about the cure?" he asks while we gather our kill from the hunt and put them in a sack.

"I did and he wants to go through with it."

"But you aren't so sure. The worried look on your face gives it away, Catnip."

"If it doesn't work, then it's an instant death sentence for him."

"I promise you it will."

"You said it hasn't been widely tested."

"I know, but I have a gut feeling that it's the real thing. Peeta will be cancer free."

I don't reply because I don't have the same assurance as he does.

"I heard that Haymitch died. I'm sorry." I'm not sure how Gale knows, but I accept his condolence.

"The funeral is tomorrow. It won't be anything fancy, just his body in the ground. I already know a lot of people won't be there."

"If I died, would you attend my funeral?"

I nudge his shoulder. "You're my best friend. I'd be the first person there."

He just nods in agreement as we walk back to my house.

"Don't you have to return to the hospital?"

"I guess so."

He turns on his heel to walk out the door, but I stop him. With my hand on his shoulder, I tell him that I'm proud of him for making that choice.

"It's not as easy as you think, Catnip. It's a living hell. Never get addicted to anything, okay?"

"I promise." I'm not lying either. Although, maybe I would have ended up like Gale if I didn't have Peeta or the others to keep me sane after everything we went through. "I'll walk with you there. Peeta is expecting me anyway."

Halfway to the Med Center, his assistant shows up and he walks off with her. I argued with her saying that Gale needs to focus on getting better, but he just assured me that he'd return to the hospital after he did some things. I decide not to walk there yet, but take a stroll in the Square. I arrive at the bakery to find Salama dealing with a customer. Salama? I thought the bakery was closed.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"Peeta said I can run the bakery until he's able to return to work. I don't mind it, it's fun. More fun that being at the hospital."

"Just be careful with the ovens, okay?"

"My mother used to bake all the time and sell her items to our neighbors. I'm used to it."

"You're a natural," I smile at her and she offers me a cookie. It tastes even better than Peeta's sugar cookies. "This tastes amazing. Is it okay if I take some to go? I'm on my way to the Med Center and I want Peeta to taste these."

"Sure," Salama replies as she puts a few cookies in a bag.

After some more conversation, I leave and continue towards the hospital, hiding the bag of cookies in my jacket. I'm almost at Peeta's room when an arm yanks me into a supply closet and covers my mouth before I have time to scream. I claw at them, yelling at the top of my lungs for Peeta or anyone to help me. They take a cloth and tie it around my mouth to muffle all the racket I'm making and another to cover my eyes. I kick and punch as they tie me to a chair, but my attempt is futile.

All those years of hunting have sharpened my hearing, so by their footsteps, I know it's Gale.

He's touching me and cutting on my clothes with a knife. As all this is happening, I get a flashback to a moment that I don't remember vividly. Something similar happened before. It dawns on me that Gale had taken advantage of me the night after I left the Med Center. Before I can think anything else, the door slams open and I hear Peeta yelling at Gale.

"What are you doing to her?" I hear the sound of Gale being crushed against the wall.

"I was going to love her." Gale is obviously drunk.

I hear the sound of Peeta's knuckles making contact with Gale's jaw. Then I hear the sound of nurses panicking and Peacekeepers taking Gale away. Peeta releases me from the rope and cloths that have blocked out everything but my hearing and I see Gale being handcuffed.

"It's not the first time, Catnip. I did it before." He takes another drink out of a canteen, but one of the Peacekeepers snatches it from him. Someone else is holding back an enraged Peeta. I have never seen him so bent on hurting someone. My thoughts switch back to Gale. Didn't we make things right earlier? What happened after he left with Celeste? Am I pregnant with Gale's baby or Peeta's? Everything is spinning around in my head and I hear a nurse say that since I'm pregnant I need to be seen by a doctor immediately. The next thing I know I'm slowly falling into a deep sleep with a lot of noise around me.


	18. Chapter 18

***tear. Love and War is almost over; there are only two chapters left. ** **Please review :)**

Sometimes life gives you unforeseen blows, but for me the odds have never been in my favor. I like to believe that the Capitol caused all the bad things in my life, which is true to a certain extent, but there's some things that I've screwed up all by myself.

I'm stuck in a hospital bed again and I hate it all the same. Since I'm pregnant, they have to make sure I'm okay. More importantly, that my baby isn't hurt or anything.

"Mrs. Mellark, I'd like to discuss something with you," the doctor says. I just look at her wondering why is she wasting my time by keeping me cooped up in here. She clears her throat and continues, "We would like to take some fluid from the amniotic sac to determine who the father is of your child. You may choose to abort the fetus if you wish. If you'd like, you may visit your husband and discuss it with him. In the end, it's your choice, but I want you to know that it's not likely that you were impregnated by the other man. I'll return after dinner to take the fluid samples."

Would I kill my child? If it were Gale's, I'm not sure if I could live with that, but I wouldn't kill it. I'd tolerate the pregnancy, then put the child up for adoption. If it's Peeta's, there is no way I will abort it. I don't see what there is to discuss about the topic with Peeta, but I want to visit him and this can be my excuse.

I haven't seen him since he beat up Gale, which I would have done if I hadn't be restrained. I'm wary of what he might say and do. He can't stress himself out too much, he just came out of a coma.

When I arrive at his room, he's pacing back and forth. At first, he doesn't even notice me. Then I wait for a moment. Nothing.

"Peeta," I say weakly, trying to get his attention. He looks up at me with bags under his eyes and the look on his face tells me that he didn't forget what Gale tried to do to me.

"Katniss, I'm so grateful that you're okay." Peeta embraces me so tight that I'm not sure I can breathe. "I'm so sorry _he_ did that to you." The way he gritted his teeth when he said "he" confirms that he hates Gale's guts.

"He was drunk. It wasn't his fault."

"How can you say that? You know what he tried to do, what he said he did before. What was he talking about?"

I can't meet Peeta's eyes, so I talk to the window.

"He got away with it the first time. I had just come out the hospital and he was supposed to be taking care of me. We talked a little, then he brought me medicine. After that, all I remember is him being on top of me while kissing me and the next morning waking up naked."

Peeta has a deadly glare that is directed at the wall. I think it's safe to assume that he's replaying the scene in his head, which is only making him even more infuriated. "That jerk. He took advantage of you. You had no idea what was going on. He knew what he was doing."

"Peeta, it's not his fault."

"Why are you taking his side? He did something horrible to you."

"He's my best friend, Peeta!"

"A true friend doesn't take advantage of another friend in a time of weakness."

Peeta is right. Although Gale was under the influence when he violated me, it doesn't change the fact that he did that.

"Please, calm down. I just need you here with me now."

"Okay," he says soothingly as he pulls me close to him.

"Do you think I could be pregnant with his child?"

"I hope not."

"If it's his, should I get an abortion?"

"I wouldn't let you kill an innocent baby. It's not his fault. He deserves to have a chance in this world."

"I don't think I could bear to raise it, I'd find someone to adopt him or her."

"That sounds like a good choice." Peeta kisses me on the top of my head.

We eat dinner together in his room and the doctor finds me too soon. Peeta tags along and we get to see the baby for the first time with the ultra sound. It's a bittersweet moment, but I enjoy it as best I can. Then, we move to another room so that the doctor can get of sample of the amniotic fluid. Apparently, they got a sample of Gale's DNA before he was escorted out the hospital, but they still need Peeta's. Another doctor takes Peeta to get a sample of his DNA, while I'm being pricked with a needle for this fluid.

When it's all over, Peeta and I reunite in the hallway.

"All we can do is wait," I tell him.

"We'll know soon enough. On the other hand, I have good news."

"What?"

"They have the leukemia cure here and they want to administer it to me now."

"I'll stay with you while they give it to you. No matter what happens, I love you, Peeta Mellark."

"I'm not going anywhere, but I love you too Katniss Mellark." He smiles and I melt to the floor. Even after being married for almost a year, that smile still gets to me.

Dr. Oswald comes around the corner and greets us. Peeta lets him know that he's willing to take the cure.

"I sincerely hope the cure works," Dr. Oswald tells us as he holds a vile containing a clear substance. "The chemotherapy and radiation killed many of the cancerous cells. A tumor was also found and removed after the train accident. This last step will possibly eliminate the leukemia. If it works, then we'll have every reason to celebrate the fact that mankind has finally found a cure for cancer." He then fills the syringe with the liquid and injects it into Peeta's arm. I bite my lip, anticipating the best, denying the worst that can happen because Peeta finally has a chance to make it through alive and to stay with me for many more years to come.


	19. Chapter 19

**I'd like to thank all of you for your amazing reviews and support with this story. It would have been a one-shot if it weren't for all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart :) Enjoy because there's only one more chapter after this and don't forget to review. Sorry if this one's a bit short, but I hope you aren't disappointed.**

It's been one week since the cure was administered to Peeta. Today we find out if it worked. We are both anxious and hopeful because Peeta deserves a happy life. After all he's been through, he deserves a long, fulfilling life. If the cure doesn't work, then Peeta still has time left. He will still have chemotherapy and radiation treatments, but that will make things more difficult. Peeta is restless and wants to get back to working at his bakery. Salama been doing an amazing job handling it while he's been gone, so Peeta told me that she's welcome to stay working there when he gets back. When I told her, she seemed sincerely grateful. Salama and Jake have finally found a new life for themselves in District 12. They've come a long way from the frightened, but strong siblings who lived in the woods after their parents died. My mother loves them as if she were their birth mother and I'm nothing but happy for them. They're a real family now. Jake's cancer is in a remission state, meaning that it is under control, but not cured yet. Salama told me that he's gone through it many times, but hopes that if the cure works on Peeta, that it will be effective on Jake also.

I had sneaked out early this morning to get some nicer clothes from my house. Peeta will be returning home if the cure has worked and I'm believing that it will. Unfortunately, my old clothes don't fit too well because of the bump that's protruding out of me. Actually, I have a couple of surprises for Peeta. One has to do with the baby and the other is for him.

No one know what happened to Gale. The last thing anyone knows is that he was arrested and taken to the Capitol. There has been a temporary President in office since Paylor's death, but there is an upcoming election for a new one in a few months. The government leaders and other influential leaders in Panem are researching democracy in the United States of America. They are even considering reinstating the Constitution, but they want to keep the name of our country the same. Change is in the way and for once, it seems like that's a good thing.

"Are you ready, Peeta?"

"I am," he replies, squeezing my hand.

We are supposed to be meeting with Dr. Oswald in his office in five minutes. Considering that's it's on the other side of the hospital, we decide to leave now.

"I don't regret marrying you. Honest."

"It's been quite a journey, hasn't it."

"Peeta it hasn't even officially been one year."

"I wasn't referring solely to our marriage. I mean since we were in kindergarten."

"I wish we would have ended up together naturally, instead of the Games forcing us together though."

"The Games didn't force us together, it gave us a chance to grow together."

I smile and squeeze Peeta's hand even harder because we're outside Dr. Oswald's office.

"This is it."

"Here we go."

Dr. Oswald is sitting at his desk with a serious expression.

"Peeta, Katniss. I hope you two are doing well," he greets us.

"Yes," we smile at each other. We must look like giddy teenagers in love, but I don't mind. I know that what Peeta and I have is real. It's not infatuation or lust. It's a love that has grown stronger over time into something beautiful. I wouldn't describe it as being easy because it has been one of the most difficult things to cultivate in my life. No matter how hard it's gotten or how distant either of us felt, we have stood together beyond the feeling of butterflies in our stomach. Peeta has taught me more about true love and hope than Gale could have ever shown me. If anything, Peeta's diagnosis has only drawn us closer and made our bond stronger. I'm prepared to hear the news that Dr. Oswald has.

"I know you are eager to know if the cure worked, so I will cut to the chase instead of beating around the bush. Peeta, you're going to live a long, healthy life with your wife, cancer free."

Dr. Oswald grins and shakes our hands. Peeta picks up me and spins me around before putting me back down, holding me in his arms. We were ready for the worst, but we got the best. Before we left, we cried and laughed until Dr. Oswald informed us that we'll most likely be interviewed about Peeta's leukemia experience.

On our way home, I tell Peeta that I have a surprise for him. I'm determined to push past my emotions and be happy for Peeta today.

"A surprise, really?"

"Yes." We stop at the Meadow before returning home. Peeta plucks a dandelion out of the ground and hands it to me. I decide that the first surprise can be said now, it's perfect timing. "I'm four months pregnant and you're the father of our babies." Shock registers on Peeta's face as he takes that statement in.

"Babies? I'm the father?"

"Apparently, one of them was hiding behind the other. That's why we didn't see them in the first ultrasound. I had another today. We're having twins, a boy and a girl."

If we looked like giddy teenagers before, we must look like complete fools now. Even still I don't care as Peeta pulls me close to him in a passionate kiss full of excitement, hunger, and joy.

"Come on, let's head inside the house."

He sweeps me up, carrying me into the house.

"Surprise! Welcome home, Peeta!" Our family and friends all gathered to celebrate his return home. All of us were sure that the cure would work and it's a good thing that it did. Otherwise, the cake that Salama made would have been baked and beautifully decorated in vain.

_My name is Katniss Mellark. I am 22 years old. I survived the Hunger times twice and a war. Today is Peeta and I's one year anniversary as a married couple. He is also officially cancer free. I'm __pregnant with twins and I'm the luckiest woman in the world. _


	20. Chapter 20

**This is the last chapter, you guys. Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews. 3**

**It wouldn't be Love and War without a cliffhanger ending. :)**

**7 months later**

The twins are two months old and are the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. My little girl with Peeta's wavy, ashy blonde hair and my gray eyes is Azia Zinnia Mellark. Her first name means sunrise, while her middle name is dedicated to Prim. It has this meaning: thinking of or in memory of an absent friend, constancy, goodness, and daily remembrance. The "constancy" definition is actually be the opposite of the definition for Primrose ("inconstancy") My handsome little boy is Asher Mellark, the one with blue eyes and dark colored hair. They've given Peeta and I such a happiness that we've never experienced before. It's still not easy, knowing how much can go wrong and that one day we will have to tell them about the Hunger Games, but Peeta reassures me that everything is going to be okay.

Azia and Asher are taking naps when my mother stops by our house. Peeta took the day off from work, so he could spend the day with me and our kids.

"Hi mom," I say and give her a hug. We have grown much closer since the twins were born. I've learned a lot about motherhood from my own mother.

"Hi, Katniss. Where's Peeta?"

"Why, is something wrong?" I ask.

"Just get Peeta, please."

I walk upstairs to our room where Peeta is working on a painting of the twins sleeping.

"Love, my mother is here and want us downstairs."

"Okay? I'll be right there. I just have to wash my hands and get this paint off of me."

I wait for him to come out the bathroom and we walk downstairs, hand in hand.

"I received news that all of District 12 must report to the Square at 4PM. Apparently, there is an urgent message from the Capitol. Anyone who doesn't attend will be arrested."

"That doesn't sound good. This reminds me too much of the reapings for the Hunger Games." Peeta says, the concern audible in his voice.

"Well, it's already 2, we should get the twins ready."

It takes us almost two hours to get them up, showered, dressed, and fed. It's a good thing my mother came when she did, otherwise we would have been late. As I look around the Square, it seems that everyone is there, but I have a gut feeling that something isn't. The Peacekeepers seem more stern, like they were before the war. I cradle Azia close to me, while Peeta holds Asher tight.

The Capitol emblem appears on the screen and Effie Trinket is speaking. I wonder what she's doing there.

"Good evening residents of Panem. I know you all are anxious to hear the results of the presidential election. He was appointed by former President Snow himself. I am here to introduce him now."

A man in a suit steps into view of the camera and everyone gasps. If President Snow appointed him, then the democracy has been thrown out the window. This man was definitely not on the ballot. Peeta and I are in utter shock because we know the President personally. Well, we used to, but now our relationship with him is strained, if not done with completely.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Gale Hawthorne and I'm the new president of Panem."

I didn't catch the name, which makes no sense because I know him.

The new dictator president of Panem , Gale Hawthorne.

**Sequel or no sequel? I told you guys there would be one big surprise at the end. :)**

**Review and let me know. I could make or sequel or leave the rest of to your imaginations. So, if you want to see a sequel, say it in your review. Even if you don't want to see a sequel made, it doesn't hurt to review :)**


	21. A Preview of what's to Come

**By all the reviews I've gotten, I'm going to assume that you all want to see a sequel made. :)**

**Here is a little preview of the next story. **

We fought for freedom, but we're still engulfed by hatred. My children are growing up in a world I always feared they'd live in, one much too similar to my own. Peeta and I discussed our options after it was announced that Gale was the new President of Panem. At the time, there didn't seem like there was much we could do. I had just given birth to twins a couple months before. We were in no condition to start another Rebellion. My worst fears would never escape me: my children will never be safe. In all honesty, if it weren't for Peeta, I would have killed myself by now. He reminds me that our children need a mother, they need me. Somehow that always brings me back to reality.

After a few more years and three more children, we have come to a mutual agreement. On Azia and Asher's sixteenth birthday, we will be returning to District 13. Another Rebellion has been kept in the shadows, but today is the beginning of the end for him. He will pay for hurting me. And Peeta. Especially for killing Prim. I plan on personally killing President Hawthorne myself.

_My name is Katniss Mellark. I am 38 years old. I'm married to Peeta Mellark and we have five beautiful children. I am the Mockingjay._

**Since I'm not good with titles, if you have any ideas for one, it would help a lot. Otherwise you'll come on the site and see (The Nameless Sequel to Love and War) lol..**

**Okay, I'm exaggerating..I would think of a title. Eventually.**

**Or I can just continue the sequel on the same link as Love and War. (it's just I don't want a lame title like Love and War Part 2)**

**Feedback is crucial a sequel being made (and I know we all want Gale dead)**


	22. Link to the Sequel

The first chapter to the sequel is up! :) I finally settled on a title. **I am the Mockingjay**

Www**(dot)**fanfiction**(dot)**net/s/6727049/1

Enjoy! I hope you guys like it.

By the way if you guys are having a hard time with the link, just go to my profile or PM me to find it.


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